He is a magician. Freakishly tall, sleek and smooth. He has that wry smile that makes us feel little. He has power...control...a regalness to his gait.
He cowers over us swirling his wand in the air, making the numbers dance in dark clouds around our head. They are dizzying. Captivating. All encompassing. We shirk in powerlessness...we get overwhelmed.
It is hard to function in such a state. We let the numbers rule. We let them control our actions.
I can see the image so vividly in my head and it makes me so angry. He sickens me.
And yet I let him get the upper hand sometimes. I GIVE him the pleasure of my miserableness and bow to his evil ways.
It is just wrong.
I need to fight it.
WE need to fight it.
We may need to physically take our own hands and turn our own heads away from the numbers. We may need to consciously walk away from them. I think sometimes it just needs to be that deliberate.
Sometimes we are fortunate enough to wake up to a sunny day and be able to see vividly the blessings and the meaning of this life in front of us...but honestly most days it takes effort to make the most of it all.
It is so easy to be hypnotized by diabetes. It is so easy to give in to the swirling numbers and to live our life by fear.
But fear never moves us forward. NEVER.
There is a quote: “Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear.”
Fear will always be there...but the knowledge that our children are more important is paramount.
If we let the fear control us, our children will certainly follow our lead. We need to find a way to break the spell of the magician. We need to find a way to make the numbers stay on the meters rather than swirling around our being, constantly obstructing our view to the "real" important things in life.
Because as it turns out, the magicians aren't real.
They are all smoke and mirrors. They make us feel like helplessness is our reality...but it isn't. We have the control to take one number at a time and fix it.
And then move on to the next.
We need to take that step away from it and let our kids be kids. They only have one childhood...one chance at navigating the teenage years. If we don't let them make mistakes, how will they ever learn anything?
I'm physically and metaphorically lifting my head up right this moment. I'm taking it all in, and dismissing the number's black magic.
It is the only way.
(I want to thank my dear friend Raisa for inspiring this post. I was blessed to watch her express her feelings about numbers and her diabetic life through dance. The performance made me think, and brought my complex emotions to the surface. This will wrap up day 12 of National Health Blog Posting Month in honor of Diabetes Awareness Month.)
L: "B...are you planning to get married and have kids someday?"
B: "Of course."
L: "When I grow up I am definitely getting married and having kids."
B: "I'm going to have lots of kids."
L: "Yeah, I'm a little worried about finding a woman that will like me though. I think that will be the hardest part about growing up."
B: "No, the hardest part will be going to college and making enough money so you can buy a house for your family."
L: "Nah. Finding the woman. That is what I'm worried about. She has to be kind, and be able to drive a car. She has to let me sit in the front seat too. But how will I find her?"
Me: "Don't worry about that...you will find her when you least expect it. You will meet her one day and not even know it. She will be your friend and one day you will think, 'I love her, I'm going to marry her.'"
L: "Yeah, but she has to like diabetes...and not too many people like diabetes."
Me: "Do you like it?"
L: "Yeah. 'Cause if I didn't than I would hate it...and that isn't good. I mean I have to do stuff with it ALL the time! If I hated it, and my wife hated it...that would be bad, and sad."
Me: "You are so wonderful, you will find her. That is the last thing you have to worry about. Right now all you have to do is work hard in school."
L: "And test my blood sugar."
Me: "Yes, and test your blood sugar."
(This is me wrapping up day 11 of National Blog Posting Month in honor of Diabetes Awareness Month.)
Can you hear it? My brain is reaching its capacity in the diabetes department. It sounds a little like a helium balloon being filled up very quickly. You know that loud pitched "varoom" noise?
Diabetes overload friends.
I'm falling to sleep with Diabetes on the brain. I'm waking up with diabetes on the brain. There has been a lot of "mishaps" lately with the boys diabetes, which in turn has made my brain extra swelly with information all of the diabetes type.
And then blogging everyday...about diabetes. The writers block I am experiencing right now tells me I need a little break today.
I need to slow things down a bit and breathe.
So to lighten things up I'm going to repost the incident where my phone masterminded a blogjacking. As you know, my boys don't have nurses. They call me from school 4-7 times a day, and as a result my phone and I have become intimate friends.
He's a stinker though, and still up to his old tricks...
(This will be the finish of day 10 of National Health Blog Posting Month, in honor of Diabetes Awareness Month.)
I love, love, love the benefits the online social community can bring. Finding, and meeting others who are just going through similar enough experiences, is probably one of the most healing things a diabetic person can experience. There's so much REDEMPTION in just being with other diabetics, in THEIR shadow of hope and light... Let's face it, outsiders don't usually understand us... and doctors often don't understand us, either. Heck, sometimes we're lucky to even get an educated enough doctor... much less an understanding doctor. It's not uncommon for persons without diabetes to say some really insensitive, uneducated things... So it's also no surprise that one of the guides developed to help diabetics traverse the waters of outsider social stupidity is Accu-Check's guide for Diabetes Etiquette for People Without Diabetes.
That being said... the topic of this blog post might, or might not surprise you. I'm not here, this time, to talk about insensitive, non-diabetic folks... but about insensitivity within the DIABETIC community. As much as I love our community, and we bring light and awareness to many, many things, we really need some major help in these areas... Yes, it's true. We need to work on our sensitivity, and love for one another... because when we're pricks, we...
Cause people a lot of personal feelings about their diagnosis
Confuse people about the direction of their diabetes management
Make people feel marooned, and misunderstood... maybe even threatened
Ruin discussions that could be productive, and help ALL diabetics learn and grow
Ruin forums, and isolate folks from joining and participating
Do unto other diabetics... what we don't want non-diabetics doing to us!
Lately I've experienced firsthand, and witnessed a lot of this in our community... and quite frankly, it's time we started demanding of ourselves what we expect and demand of others without diabetes. So... I've decided to make a list of etiquette points... (dun DUN dun...)
for people WITH Diabetes.
Having diabetes is challenging, and embarrassing enough, at times... especially with the world's misconceptions and misconstrued ideas about who we are. On top of that, many diabetics do NOT get any education on the part of their medical team, false reassurances that they do not need to worry 'it's nothing,' and even LESS help with the paralyzing psychological aspects of denial, and coping with sudden and drastic life changes. Do NOT assume someone who is not making the right choices is just some slob. You are NOT in their shoes, and are only looking from the outside in.
Moms did NOT overfeed sugar to their babies; Type 2 Diabetics are not whiny, out of control slobs. It is NOT okay to point your finger at the world for recriminating you, and then turn around and point it at your fellow diabetic! Just because your neighbor Jim Bob, is a bitter, mean Type 1, does not make everyone else with Type 1 this way... and just because your aunt Betsy with Type 2 seems to pay no mind at all to her Diabetes does NOT mean everyone else doesn't! I can guarantee you that as far as there are stars in the skies, there are people of ALL characters and walks of life affected by EVERY disease. Not all Type 2s are heavy, or uncontrolled; not all Type 1s are thin, and controlled... Not all Type 2s are ignorant about their disease, and not all Type 1s are well versed on all their options. Just the other day I saw a Type 1 woman sharing with the world, on a forum, that Type 2s turn into Type 1s when they need to inject insulin... Ummm, yeah. I don't think so, lady.
People, we must educate ALL of us, and make assumptions about NONE of us.
I hope I don't need to explain too much just how wrong this is. I mean, after all... when you try to raise awareness about Diabetes, would you be okay with a non-diabetic person saying this to you? Your Diabetes type is NOT my problem? I don't need to learn anything about it? It doesn't affect ME, so it's not important?
Yeah... I didn't think so. Don't be a gratuitous jerk. You can't bring POSITIVE, momentum building, LIFE CHANGING... awareness... to your TYPE of Diabetes...by being the big jerk putting other people's type down. Stop the crap. It's a LOT more harmful for YOU and your loved ones, than you can fathom.
Listen to me... You have the right to control your destiny. You have the right to control your carbohydrate consumption, insulin to carb ratio, exercise regimen, or when to go on oral medications...
But you DO NOT... Listen carefully... You do NOT have the right to control, manage, and boss around another diabetic's personal management care, or their loved one's management care. You have the right to offer advised WHEN IT'S ASKED, but THAT'S where it ends. You have NO RIGHT to throw your weight around and bully other people over this. What works for you may not work for someone else, and it may ENDANGER their life. You have NO right or business doing this. So shut the F up and be supportive, even if you personally do NOT agree! There are many, many roads to get to Rome, and people do NOT need to pay a tollbooth of exclusivity to YOU. Got it?
While diabetes is NOT all the same, there are advantages, disadvantages, and dangers... to every form of diabetes, and every form of diabetes management. Please don't put down other people because you have rosy colored daydreams in your mind of what it's like on the other side of the fence. You can say any other diabetes is better, with an infinite supply of arguments: children getting diabetes is better, because they get used to it; adults getting diabetes is better because they can more maturely understand the implications, people without medications have it easier because they do not have awful side effects, people on insulin have it easier because they can eat anything and just bolus for it, etc, etc, etc. When you make every one of these statements, you DENY people the reality of their diabetes; their struggles, mental battles, and hardships.
People without medications often must exercise extreme willpower to control carbohydrate levels to such a degree, that they won't spike. MOST people can't even follow a crappy Jenny Craig diet. What's worse, people without medications don't have the most choices in bringing numbers down. I mean, if you're high at 3 am, would you want to go running at that hour?
People WITH medications are often subjected to horrible side effects: extreme gastric upset, diarrhea, potential lactic acidosis, kidney, liver, or heart damage, cancer, etc, etc. They can bring on some of the complications we work so hard to avoid, to begin with... Along with nausea, and hypoglycemia, as well, sometimes. Not only that, but some of these medications are ALSO injectables, so if you fear injections, it's really not much better than insulin.
People on insulin shouldn't also eat whatever they want; they must manage their food consumption just like anyone without diabetes. It's not a license to eat, and eat... And it's not like it's a walk in the park, either... There's hypoglycemia, and potential weight gain for many who are prone to weight gain, regardless of their type.
Children with Diabetes do NOT have it easier just because they got Diabetes as children... Diabetes puts a HUGE stress burden on the family, parents frequently fight or get divorced, or one parent gets incredibly burdened with the total care for their child. Not to mention, the bullying by other kids, etc., maturing at too young of an age, and NOT getting to enjoy childhood as normal children. Often a parent may push a child incredibly hard, for the sake of advocacy.
Adults with Diabetes have all manner of lifetime habits INGRAINED in them. I've gotten yelled at by roommates for not using the proper "tupperware" for putting food away, or by my husband by not putting things away exactly how he likes them... Are you kidding me? This is one of the hardest things to have to change AS AN ADULT. Life long habits that have nurtured us, and comforted us for DECADES. Also, it's pretty scary to have to face one's mortality, and it takes time to break away from denial... A young person may still have a supportive family; an adult may have limited friends, and persons they confide in.
Also... do you remember that one heartburn commercial? You know, the "Do you want heartburn now, or later?" How about I don't want ANY of it! It's all bad! Do not tell someone their Diabetes is NOT dangerous! Really? Do you want the danger now, or do you want it later? Is one really better than the other? Hmmm... Would you rather die as a child, leaving your family heartbroken, or would you rather die as an adult... with many traumatic complications... leaving your kids orphans? Let me think on that, for a while. NO... DIABETES IS ALL BAD. THERE IS NO MAGICAL DIABETES WHERE THE CARE BEARS COME AND GIVE YOU HUGS. GET OVER IT.
No juicing; no starving yourself on 600 calories a day; no raw dieting, no veganism, no NO carbing, no magical herb, plant, bird poop, or seed, from the Jababwey People, or whatever the hell, will EVER cure ANYONE'S Diabetes.
Do NOT go around quoting studies to people to make them feel bad... that they ought to be able to cure themselves, or at least try... This means you DO NOT have the right to go telling people they need go get islet cell transplantation, or gastric bypass procedures of any kind. These procedures, for as many studies that claim they are miracle working things, are also DANGEROUS, have LIMITED results, and are NOT a guaranteed cure for everyone. They are Russian Roulettes. They can, potentially, leave a person with even more problems than before... and are quite frankly, PERSONAL DECISIONS, AND NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. A cure should do NO HARM. You have no RIGHT telling people these things will cure their Diabetes. I don't care HOW MANY careless, unscrupulous researches, or doctors, say that it is.
Furthermore, TIGHT CONTROL is NOT a cure! Reversing neuropathy, high numbers, dizziness, blurry vision, yeast infections... are all NOT signs of a cure. They are signs of TIGHT CONTROL. Go ahead and eat a big piece of pie, and test... I TRIPLE DOG DARE YOU.
When you behave like this, what kind of example are you setting for non-diabetics? How is the world supposed to treat us? What kind of example are you setting for your children?
Listen, don't get me wrong... There are a lot of people I dislike; I don't like their methods of doing things, or their ways of carrying on, and I may yell at them, sometimes... But I will NOT... WILL NOT... encourage violence toward other diabetics, in any way, shape or form, even as a joke. I will support EVERY DIABETIC, whether I like them or not... because this is NOT about the people I like. This is about a HORRIBLE disease NO ONE deserves to have. NO ONE. You will get upset at many people; you may even call them a name, or two, on your wall... But the minute you start encouraging other people to fantasize about 'bitch slapping' anyone... that's the minute you have become what's WRONG with the Diabetes community. There is NO SCENARIO in which this is even remotely OKAY.
Similarly, do NOT put down how other people raise awareness, and seek to boycott them. Everyone has the right to dream a diabetes cure how they see fit, and everyone has the right to be a leader. There is NO king and queen of the diabetes advocacy. Make helpful suggestions, and raise important points... even challenge things; but DO NOT piss on people's parades and tear down their house of cards. That is NOT okay. Diabetes Awareness Month is a SPECIAL time. Respect it.
Diabetes is complicated; there are no simplistic answers, and simplistic solutions. We all must do what it takes to care for ourselves, and be healthy... and that can't be done with guilt, or with shame; with uneducated, misinformed doctors, or with the media spitting out every bit of nonsense or poorly done research study there is. We are ALL diabetic, in risks, in symptoms, in need for effective care; we are ALL our brother's keeper.
Diabetes awareness is not just for OTHERS to be aware of YOUR Diabetes... it's also for YOU to be aware of other diabetics as well. Learn to stop myths in their tracks, and do not add to their buildup. For example, if someone says to you "Oh, is Type 1 Diabetes the one you can cure with diet and exercise?," don't reply with "No, you're confusing it with Type 2 Diabetes..." The right answer is "No, there are NO types of Diabetes right now that can be cured with diet and exercise; only some may be controlled that way." Similarly, if someone asks you if Type 1 Diabetes is the "bad kind of Diabetes," don't say "Yes, it's the worst." 1.) It makes people feel bad, okay? No one wants to be pitied, or to have people being taught to pity others with the condition. 2.) Like I said before, really? There's no magical Pooh bear in the Hundred Acre Wood Diabetes... 3.) Just let them know it's ALL very bad, just in different ways. There's no a single type of Diabetes I'd rather have...
Be inclusive, and make it easy for folks to JOIN in on your conversation, whether it's on twitter, or some event you're planning... Don't make things obscure, or cliquish. We can learn so MUCH from each other, if we just keep an open mind, and an open door. There are MANY issues that cross the borders of types... issues with making more glucose stable meals, issues with carb counting properly, issues with weight (sometimes), or developing insulin resistance (even in Type 1s)... Sometimes, we can learn from the courage, and every day management of a long time survivor of Type 1, the hope and unwavering faith of a Type 3, or from the life changing determination of a Type 2. Sometimes, all we need is to HUG each other, when the whole world just wants to turn its back.
At the end of the day, we are human beings who happened to get a disease they didn't want, and which has caused all kinds of havoc in our lives. Let's take a moment for turning around and just saying
THANK YOU!
Thank you for being there for me... Thank YOU for being 1 of 335 million who UNDERSTANDS Diabetes... and HAS MY BACK. Let's help and educate the other 334,999,999. Let's help save lives.
Now GO, AND DO THE BIG BLUE TEST! HELP SAVE OTHER DIABETICS, WORLDWIDE. WE ARE EACH OTHER'S ANGELS. DO NOT FORGET.
Don't just watch it, and preach it... but do it, and record your information HERE. Your advocacy will help other diabetics have life saving medications, and education.
You would see a family. Blond hair, brown hair...and one with a tint of auburn in it.
You would see a family trying their best, and not always succeeding.
You would see a constant stream of blood droplets and needles. Set changes and pump checks.
You would see a saxophone in the corner and a trumpet in the middle of the floor.
You would see children eating with care. They would size up their food thoughtfully and then enter a number into their pumps.
You would see test strips on the kitchen counter, on two dressers, on the hallway blood sugar station, and on one end table in the family room.
You would see a mother on her computer and you would wonder what she was typing. But her gratified smile would tell you she is happy within the brightness of her screen.
You would see a father changing out of his starched collared shirt and into a comfortable white T shirt.
You would see kids hurrying to get their homework done so they can go on a bike ride with their dad.
You would see parents sitting close with their eyebrows furrowed, looking at the basal review screen on their son's pump.
You would see a refrigerator that doubles as a medicine cabinet and a linen closet that doubles as a pharmacy.
You would see children running around like monkeys trying to see how much they can rile up the dog.
You would occasionally see worry on a mothers face as a child informs her of a blood sugar number, or when the dog alerts to a low.
You would see children gulping down apple juice rather than sipping.
You would see reminder notes of doctors appointments.
You would see boys running to the bathroom without a second to spare.
You would see a blood ketone monitor sitting on the dining room table.
You would see brothers playing video games together.
You would see bravery as a child receives a set change with a needle that would startle you.
You would see that the carpet is more worn near the blood sugar station.
You would see one cabinet filled only with things that would help for a low, and you would see tiny specks of blood on the cabinet door from hasty blood sugar checks done seconds before.
You would see a constant stream of boys at the water dispenser on the fridge.
You would see a father helping with calculus, and mother helping with spelling tests.
You would see extended family coming for dinner and none of the above actions would phase them.
You would see laughter. Bickering. Crying. Joy. Sadness. Peace. Confusion. Calm. Frustration.
You would see happiness.
More than anything though, If you were to look through our window, I hope you would see that love lives here. And that the love makes it all ok.
Because if you stayed long enough you would see the children coming one by one to kiss their parents goodnight, and then you would see them sleep like they don't have a care in the world. You would see the children's perfect faith that their parents and the angels will watch over them while they sleep. And you would see their parents living up to those expectations, because their greatest wish is that their children sleep peacefully and receive this small respite from their diabetic lives.
You would see our family trying our best, loving our best and hoping our best.
It is our normal and our story...and I am thankful for all the facets this diabetic life brings to us. The good and the bad. After all, how would we know joy without knowing sadness too? The images in our window would be pathetic if we didn't try to make the most of the circumstances given us. The sadness isn't going to go away...all we can do is take it one day at a time and try to enjoy the ride the best we can.
(This will end day 9 of National Health Blog Posting Month, where I am blogging everyday in honor of Diabetes Awareness Month.)
When it came to diabetes, J was perfect. Diagnosed as baby, I thought his responsibleness had to do with diabetes being all he has ever known...but it turns out that wasn't the case. It had more to do with his personality than anything else.
Back in the day, J was a private guy. More than anything, he didn't like the spotlight to be on him. He didn't talk about his diabetes, but if someone asked he would answer succinctly and be done. He didn't hide things like blood sugar testing, but he didn't flaunt it either.
He wanted people to see him as J. Not J the diabetic.
Because of this he KNEW that he needed to be very careful remembering to check his sugar and bolus for his food. I don't think he ever needed reminding from 1st grade to 5th grade. His biggest fear was passing out in front of his friends...that was his worst nightmare. Due to his diligence, that never happened. He was always super responsible and super careful. He was everything a D Mama could hope for, and more.
But he kinda left this legacy with the teachers that diabetes is easy and no big deal. I'm grateful for that, and pulling out my hair because of it too.
Now that B and L are making the rounds with the same elementary teachers J had, I'm getting comments like:
"Wow! J never had issues like this. I wonder why L's sugars are so hard to manage?"
"What happened the other day never happened with J. Why are B's numbers not as level...like J's."
Ay yi yi.
Truth is J's sugars were a little easier to manage than his brothers...but also, J was so quiet in his management that his teachers were never made aware of his highs and his lows. He dealt with them on his own, or with me on the phone. He thought it was none of his teachers business, his numbers were very private to him.
Not with B and L. They are loud and proud diabetics. L especially. He will tell his teacher every number that pops up on his monitor. And when L is high he will check every 15 minutes to make sure he is going down. (Not something I encourage.) I get so many calls from him from school. "Mom! I just checked my sugar and It's 302!!" "Of course it is L! You just had an root beer float for your reading party! It will be down before I pick you up. Give your insulin time to work!"
B is almost as vocal, when he feels low he makes sure his teacher knows. He doesn't like feeling vulnerable. There was an incident at the track last week where B forgot it was track day and forgot to bring his monitor and his fast acting sugar with him. This resulted in a frantic call from his teacher saying B feels, "Lower than he ever has before."
Dramatic much? My mother lives closer to the track than me so she ran to take care of it all. He was fine, and not even close to "lower than I ever felt before." But his teacher couldn't help but say, "Wow, nothing like this ever happened with J."
Because J wouldn't have said a word. He would have waited until they got back to school and he would have dealt with it. Is that a good thing? No. Actually, to be honest this never would have happened because J never would have forgotten his kit. Kids are different.
But his teachers can't help comparing and I can only say, "Diabetes Varies," so many times.
Now don't get me wrong. My boys have AWESOME teachers. We are very blessed to have them. But it goes like this with anyone who doesn't intimately know diabetes like we do.
I'm thankful J had uneventful elementary years, but it is fun to see J turn into a teenager and actually talk all the time and be so animated when he talks. He "forgets" things once in awhile and has lightened up a bit too. He is not the same J he was. I think it was our service dog Lawton that brought him out of his diabetes shell. When he was in sixth grade J proudly wore his diabetes colors, and even brought Lawton to class with him some days. That dog made any reservations about sharing his condition disappear.
My children are my children, but they are also three completely separate identities who deal with their diabetes in completely different ways...who's numbers respond to food in completely different ways...who's carb ratios and sensitivities are not even close to one another.
What works for one boy, doesn't always work for another. They are three individuals. Three different sets of information that I need to store up in my cluttered attic of a brain. That is part of the reason I cringe when people give advice on the internet like it is the answer for everyone. Because from my experience...one piece of advice doesn't even work for all three of my boys...so how can one specific nugget of wisdom be applied to everyone in the general diabetes population?
I wish I could lump everything I know into one specific pile of information for all to read. But at best, all I can do is say..."This works for us," and sometimes, "This works for one of my boys." That is why I blog mostly about the emotional side of it all. But even then...Your feelings may vary too.
(This will wrap up day 8 of National Health Blog Posting Month, in honor of Diabetes Awareness Month.)
Today's blog prompt asks us to write about what gets us down. Last night was a perfect example.
Yesterday was L's special day...and how does he spend his birthday? In bed, and on the couch with high blood sugar and ketones. It was a perfect storm that led to all this, and it took MUCH longer than expected to get things back in order.
When your child is crying with stomach cramps...
When your child is throwing up with high ketones...
When your child's blood sugar won't budge...
When you have to do a site change and wonder if your child received the insulin from the previous site...
When your child gets a drink holder for his new bike with a water bottle in it, and all he wants is to open the water asap because he thirsts so vigorously...
when this happens...
A case of the Mondays doesn't even scratch the surface.
Why does the reality of it all have to smack us on what should be his happiest day of the year?
I could ask why all day long.
But instead of wallowing in the why, and the not fairness of it all...I'm going to focus on the fact that he made it through the day without having to go to the hospital.
I'm going to focus on the fact that I got to lay next to my son and rub his feet and hear his stories and his dreams. Because just when I thought I was finally going to lose my composure and give way to the tears...this conversation happened...
"Mom, can I tell you something?"
"Sure baby, what is it?"
"When I'm in the bathroom, sometimes it takes a long time because I just sit there and think about how kind you are to me."
And suddenly...everything is ok again. He is so good at making me laugh and sigh with love all in one fell swoop!
(This'll wrap up day 8 of National Health Blog Posting Month, in honor of Diabetes Awareness Month.)
Every November is sort of bittersweet, for me. In one way, I am very excited -- the unity, love and compassion of many, just pours over in our communities. It is a huge opportunity to spread a bright blue beacon of awareness across the world. It's almost like Christmas time... Diabetes style.
In another way, Diabetes Awareness Month is very frustrating to me... because it is, in many ways, National Recrimination Month. I can conspiracy-theory-spin this all the way to the bank, but I won't... Instead, I'll just share a few simple truths with you:
Type 2 Diabetes Awareness, largely focuses on telling people that their Diabetes is preventable, and that 80-90% of the cases could have been avoided. Now, I'm curious... did anyone send you a survey, or knock on your door asking you how you got your diabetes? Did they ask you what medications you take, what other illnesses you have, or come over and take blood samples from you? No? Oh. Well... That's because when people are throwing that statistic around, they are usually mentioning either of these two studies... (Most people, or organizations, WON'T EVEN REFERENCE THEM. I had to dig DEEP just to find these two.)
Diet, Lifestyle, and the Risk of Type 2 Diabetes Mellitus in Women: Frank B. Hu, M.D., JoAnn E. Manson, M.D., Meir J. Stampfer, M.D., Graham Colditz, M.D., Simin Liu, M.D., Caren G. Solomon, M.D., and Walter C. Willett, M.D. N Engl J Med 2001; 345:790-797. September 13, 2001. http://www.nejm.org/doi/full/10.1056/NEJMoa010492#t=articleDiscussion
Lifestyle Factors and Risk for New-Onset Diabetes: A Population-Based Cohort Study. Jared P. Reis, PhD; Catherine M. Loria, PhD; Paul D. Sorlie, PhD; Yikyung Park, PhD; Albert Hollenbeck, PhD; and Arthur Schatzkin, MD, PhD†. http://www.annals.org/content/155/5/292.abstract
Now... what's wrong with using this to badger people with diabetes? Well, for starters, these types of studies are OBSERVATIONAL studies. Meaning a.) they rely largely on demographic data from participants, and not on laboratory studied, measured, clinical data, b.) they make assumptions on what a healthy diet means, b.) they rely on anecdotal testimony on what participants may claim are their risk markers for a family history, c.) they do not account for racial, or ethnic risk markers, d.) they use limited populations of people that may or may not represent the overall population, in certain circumstances (like ALL nurses, which their occupation already may put STRESS as a HUGE factor in diagnosis.), e.) they don't tell how many of the total participants in the studies were actually overweight or obese, regardless of diabetes development, f.) they control for common things, like metabolic syndrome, but not for other critical factors, such as different illnesses, medications, pollution, toxins, etc., g.) They assume things like high triglycerides, high cholesterol, and high blood pressure, are ALL preventable things (completely ignoring their genetic components), and what's worse... h.) These studies assume that because the rest of the people were able to, somehow, avoid getting Type 2 Diabetes... that those people who did get it, should have been able to avoid it, too! I think that it's very evident that we are all UNIQUE, as our fingerprints, and that unless we were able to magically step back in time, and redirect those people who got Type 2 diabetes, we will never truly be able to tell if they could have prevented their illness just by comparing them to other strangers! That's like saying I could have avoided getting late to work, like 'Jenny did,' without taking into account a.) my car breaking down, b.) people having an accident and blocking the main roadways, c.) tornado warnings being issued, etc., etc. These studies tell you NOTHING about these people other than many of them have a poor diet, like MOST Americans do. Yet MOST Americans will NOT develop Diabetes. These studies will NOT tell you anything about the chemistry inside these people's bodies, or even WHY they might be overeating, or addicted to nicotine, or alcohol. As discussed in my About Diabetes post, Type 2 Diabetes is a HELL of a lot more complicated than these simplistic studies.
I am SICK and TIRED of hearing this old line used to badger poor people who got a disease they DIDN'T WANT. NO ONE wants Diabetes. NO ONE. While I can't say that there aren't folks out there, in the world, who love food... or love to pig out, or drink, or smoke, for the sake of doing these things... I can tell you that that is HARDLY an excuse to say everyone else who developed a disease was EXACTLY LIKE THAT. What's worse are the George Burns of the world who smoked till they were 100, and had NO PROBLEMS ever with lung cancer, or the Manuel Uribe's of the world, who weigh in around 1,000 lbs, and have no high blood pressure, no high cholesterol, no triglycerides, and no diabetes. Healthy eating and exercising can benefit EVERYONE, and they are ways to help us EXTEND our chances for good, overall health, and have more energy for life... but they are not a passport to a disease free life. I recall a next door neighbor, from my childhood... Jogged every day, very fit, and thin... Died at 42, from a sudden heart attack. No family history. His dad, by contrast, smoked like a chimney ALL HIS LIFE and didn't die until well into his old age, when he actually presented complications. Diet and exercise will NOT 100% prevent anyone from getting Type 2 Diabetes, nor should it be presented that way. Am I saying we should push the lottery of life? NO. No way in hell. But what I AM saying is that telling people they could have avoided giving themselves a disease is a.) Unhelpful, and b.) Not the complete picture of things, and probably, very untruthful.
Awareness focuses on telling people THEY need to take action in getting tested, and finding out that they have this chronic condition. Now, don't get me wrong... I agree with this. I agree that we need to take action, and we need to get a hold of our health... but I agree with it, mostly because doctors are NOT doing their part. And this is where awareness fails. Awareness should not rely on going around, scaring people, telling them they need to get tested. (Many people won't... they don't want to know... hey, it's scary... I don't blame them!) Awareness should rely on empowering doctors, urging them to continuously educate themselves about Diabetes, and giving them the tools to help, and empower persons with Diabetes, in a welcoming, and nonjudgmental environment. If this is such a dangerous disease, why aren't doctors being sent to more intensive training to learn, and deal with this condition? Why is my PCP so ignorant that she had to go get herself on the ADA website to find out information to "give me," on what to do?! I can do that myself, thank you very much! (And it sure as hell WON'T be from the ADA site!) If this is such a dangerous disease, why is a fasting blood glucose, or even an OGTT for those at high risk, NOT part of an annual physical? Why do people need to know that they need that, in order to demand it? Why can't a doctor know?
What's worse is HOW a diabetes diagnosis just keeps getting delayed, and delayed because of old, and tacky, ADA guidelines. Patients are not given proper follow up testing, told they have "pre-diabetes," not told they need to make any changes, not referred to any certified diabetes educators, or registered dietitians, and not given tools to monitor their condition. In short, they are told they have NOTHING to worry about. To just lose some weight, and they will be fine. Most of these people are ALREADY diabetic, and don't know it. By the time the average person gets diagnosed with "Pre-Diabetes," they've already reached a 40% loss in beta cell function. (http://diabetes.diabetesjournals.org/content/52/1/102.full) By the time they are diagnosed with Type 2, an 80% loss in beta cell function. (http://www.dlife.com/diabetes/type-2/diabetes-causes/garnero_0608)
Awareness focuses mainly on telling people with Type 2 Diabetes that they need to take care of themselves, and they need to test. I couldn't agree more! *clap* *clap* This is the truest thing that anyone can say about Diabetes (of any type), really. It might seem hard to imagine that I, or anyone else, would have a problem with this... what could possibly be wrong? Well, the problem is similar to telling your spouse they need to go do the grocery shopping (for the week), and giving them only $20 to do it with. Huh? I'll spell it out for you... :) Insurance companies will NOT HELP people with Type 2 Diabetes; they are of the view, and the assumption that because most of us will not immediately die from high blood sugar, that we do not need to test as often. This means that if you have "Pre-Diabetes," you are likely to be given 0-1 test strips (a day!) to test with; if you have Type 2 (anywhere from 2-4), depending on what medications you use... with 1 generally used for those not on medications, and 4 being used for those on insulin. If you are a newly diagnosed person with diabetes who does NOT know how their diet affects them, 1 strip isn't going to be of much help. Much less 0. You have to know at least two parts of a mathematical equation, to be able to come up with a conclusion of some sort (ie, because my fasting blood glucose before a meal was X, and my postprandial was Y, then I know the amount of carbohydrates I had raised me Z glucose points.) But if you only have X, or Y, by themselves, that doesn't tell you much of anything. And if you have nothing, you're pretty much going on exactly that... nothing. Almost every informational pamphlet out there, on Type 2 Diabetes, urges people to test before and after every meal, at rising, before going to bed, and before or during exercise, and at times of illness. Now, do the math with me... how many strips does that add to? ... Yeah, a heck of a lot more than 1. Insurance companies claim that the costs of covering these strips is too much, yet... they do not factor in the costs of complications from poorly controlled blood glucose, nor do they seem to want to listen to how much money they could actually save if they actually taught people how to monitor their blood glucose and make meal decisions based on their numbers.
Awareness focuses on telling people they need to go talk to a Certified Diabetes Educator, Registered Dietitian, or Endocrinologist. Yet, for a Type 2 Diabetic, insurance will SELDOM cover these specialists as they deem them unnecessary, and unjustifiable. Diabetics are left to the care of very many ignorant PCPs, APs, and even RNs, or LNs, with their OWN ideas of what diabetes is. What's worse, is that NONE of these people seem to understand that Type 2 Diabetes is a progressive illness in which our bodies will not be able to metabolize carbohydrates properly... We are ALL different in our progression (and the damage in our systems), and telling a person to eat X amount of carbohydrates, at meal times, without instead... letting them learn what number is appropriate for them based on their glucose responses, their overall health feeling, and appropriate medication levels, is setting up MANY people for failure. This is where the conspiracy theorist in many wakes up, because keeping people on so many carbohydrates with the excuse of "your brain will starve," keeps a lot of diabetics on MANY medications, some very dangerous, bringing about many unnecessary complications at an early period of progression. What's worse is that doctors not up to par with the latest in medical research will keep Type 2 Diabetics from access to insulin, sometimes until terrible, and unnecessary damage has occurred, from the complications of high blood glucose. Studies have shown that early insulin intervention is NECESSARY in Type 2 Diabetics. (http://clinical.diabetesjournals.org/content/27/2/60.full)
Awareness focuses on telling Diabetics they need to keep their blood glucose numbers steady. Yet another gem of wisdom here. I couldn't agree more, again, frankly... "But why is this so wrong, Liz? You must be off your rocker..." The problem here is that Diabetes advisory organizations do NOT agree on blood glucose target goals, and often use poorly done studies (like the ACCORD study) to justify that diabetics (of all types, without respect to good health), stick to higher blood glucose numbers that can lead to complications later down the road. Frankly, the American Diabetes Association is the ONLY organization recommending such high blood glucose goals as being at 180 or lower, 2 hours after a meal! Everyone else recommends around 140 mg/dL. Why are we relying on these people, and not on the American Association of Clinical Endocrinologists, for example? I can't tell you the answer to that one... I can surmise they channel most of the research funding money, and think many of us can't do it. We can't and won't take care of ourselves, to better levels... It's too hard. While some, may, indeed have health challenges keeping them from tighter goals, I do think those are personal decisions that need to be made with one's medical team, and not as general blanket goals espoused by guideline organizations. Again, the conspiracy theorist in me, would tell you that because the ADA has a LOT of conflicts of interest with big pharma (and this was documented through a recent Mount Sinai research study), then they get some type of financial, monetary kick back from many of us being on pills. (http://www.ama-assn.org/amednews/2011/10/24/prsc1025.htm)
By far... what I dislike the most about Type 2 Diabetes, in regard to Diabetes Awareness Month... is that they NEVER talk about finding a cure. This hurts me deeply... because NO, diet and exercise won't make this thing go away, and for many of us... like my father... they are not even guarantees of having good control. My father lost his battle to Type 2 Diabetes on 05/05/2003. During the last few years of his life, he endured kidney failure (we dialysed him at home), blindness, neuropathy (both peripheral and autonomic), coronary heart disease, dementia, stroke, and gangrene. He passed away at the operating table, from respiratory failure, as he was awaiting surgery for a leg amputation. His diabetes simply took a very brittle turn for the worst... I've never known someone that took better care of themselves.... He was President of the Puerto Rican Olympic Cycling Federation and Skating Federations, as well as President of the Puerto Rican BMX Associations. A coach, and a huge supporter of active youth, and athletics. He got me my first BMX bike when I was just 5 years old.
My father, near diagnosis.
My father, 10+ years after diagnosis
My father in his last years.
EVERYONE deserves a cure. Everyone deserves a dad, or a loved one, to come home to... Spend Christmases with... and walk them down the isle. Everyone. You owe it to me, ADA. You owe it to EVERY person with Diabetes, of EVERY type.
It's time you get off your sofa, stop pigging out on chips and soda bought with big pharma money.. AND FIND A CURE.
Some of you may not know that L and B share a birthday, two years apart. Both are born on November 6th. Today I would like to re-share a post I wrote earlier this year. I am thankful for every day I have with them...and I think they are thankful for our choice to have more children too:
The most awesome thing I have done in spite of diabetes?
Hands down, easiest question ever...
These two little munchkins right here.
As most of you know, J was diagnosed when he was 8 months old. J is my second son...B and L wern't even on the radar yet.
It was scary, and deliriously confusing when we were told J had Type 1 Diabetes. We spent a week in the hospital…mostly for J to recover from his ketoacidosis…and a little bit because I needed to learn how to take care of my little boy. (The hospital obviously didn’t think this was too big of a deal, they sent me home with a book and my pediatricians home phone number. “Call him when you need to give insulin.” Yeah, that got old fast, for all of us involved.)
Anyway…back to the hospital….My husband or someone would try to come by once a day to give me a break. I would usually go down to the cafeteria and spend my time feeling guilty I wasn’t with J. I would silently sob in the corner and pick at my food.
One particular day I was in line for the food and already felt tears falling on my cheek. A friendly faced older lady put her hand on my shoulder. “What’s your story, honey?”
I told her how my second son had just been diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes and the new world we were being thrown in. I told her he was so sick and so skinny, it was hard to see him in such a state.
“Well you have two boys…since you won’t be having any more, you are very lucky to even have them considering what has been passed down to them.”
Say what the huh?
That hit me like a ton of bricks.
Really? I’m not having any more? Was she right? I mean that was the last thing on my mind…but did this mean it was the end of the line? Two and no more?
She wasn’t the only one to make this comment. Many others made comments to the effect that I better not have more, as I didn’t want to pass this on to another child.
Pass it on? Was I really passing it on? For awhile the answer in my mind was yes. I felt like this had to be my fault. I felt like J was being punished just so that I could learn to be a better person. (Diagnosis and lack of sleep do a number on your swelly brain!)
But the passage of time is a funny thing…
Time changes perspectives.
Time heals wounds, even mental ones.
And one day, I knew…we needed to have another.
And one day, exactly two years later, God sent us another.
And then yeah, THEN we were done.
Two years after our last son came into our family…diabetes made another appearance.
And one year later…another appearance.
Do I regret having these two boys? Heck to the no.
Do I feel responsible for their diabetes. No, no I don’t.
We are like lottery winners; no one could have predicted our lot. NO ONE.
We were told we had a 3% chance of having a second child with diabetes.
That is a 97% chance that we wouldn’t. But who cares about percentages. You never know where you will fall, so they are useless. All that is important is I have two of the most precious souls in the universe here in my home. Yes, they have diabetes. Yes, I wish they didn’t have to endure diabetes…
But they are thriving.
And they are happy.
And they are part of a bigger picture.
I can’t imagine life without B and L. Would I have had them if I KNEW they were going to have Type 1?
I think they would have hoped…that regardless of their circumstances, I would have said yes.
(This marks day 7 of National Health Blog Posting Month in honor of Diabetes Awareness Month!)
My boys often make fun of my "imaginary friends." These friends live in the computer and my boys think it is hilarious that I talk about them like they are my next door neighbors.
Have you ever seen "Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends?" It is a cartoon home where imaginary friends go when the child who imagined them doesn't play with them anymore. They all stay in this foster home and hope that someone will adopt them/become their friend.
I think our blogs and Facebook may be a "foster home for D mama friends."
We need a place where we can be taken care of by people who understand our crazy. So we band together and form groups, and friendships on our computer that are just as real as our beating hearts.
We are fed by "sameness" and lifted up by comments that say, "I so get it!" And, "You are rocking it!" And, "I'm so sorry, hope things start looking up!" It is a safe haven, and when we get an opportunity to hug one of those "imaginary friends" in real life? Well, is there anything better?
Today I got to meet up with Leigh of the Evan's Kiddos, and her sweet family. It was a wonderful feeling to know that the person I met on the computer is exactly how she is in real life. It is hard to hide your heart when you blog. You can't fake it when you are pouring your heart out, 'cause people will figure you out whether you want them to or not. In fact all of you have probably figured out I'm halfway to Crazyville by now.
But that is ok. I am who I am. And you are who you are, and I love you for it! We are all different sizes and have different quirks, and different perspectives...but we all have one goal...
We all seek for acceptance of our diabetic lives. We want our children to be happy in their circumstance, and we all hope for a better day, a better way for them.
My children may joke that you are all imaginary...but I know you are real. I know you go through your day doing the best you can, and I'm thankful that you take a minute out of your busy lives to see what I am up to. Your friendship is such a gift!
Our blogs, Facebook and other communities are our foster homes. We take each other in and we nurture each other there. I am so so thankful for that!
(This completes Day 5 of National Health Blog Posting Month in honor of Diabetes Awareness month! Phew! It's 9:00pm my time, that was a close one!)
When I was a young bride my mindset was always on the future.
"When..."
When we have a baby...When we have our very own home...When we have more babies...When the boys aren't toddlers anymore...When the boys are all in school...When my husband gets a new job...when...when...when...
I hate to admit it but I've spent most of my life not living in the moment. Growing older, (and hopefully a little bit wiser,) that has all changed. In fact I find myself savoring the little things more and more. The cute pucker on L's lips when he concentrates very hard, the way B sometimes moves his lips even after he is done talking, the fact that J will still hold my hand on family walks, and M's amazing smile. These little things bring me so much joy...so much so I have a lot of regret.
Back when my boys were tiny I wish I enjoyed the crazy moments more. There were days when the hours were chaotic followed by more hours of chaos. In those days I would think..."When..."
I made the biggest mistake by not slowing down and savoring those moments. I'm sure that part of it is the learning curve of motherhood. I was so much harder on M than I was on J. And so much harder on J than I was on B. And I'm so much harder on B than I am on L. (L seriously has it easy.) I'm not the same mother I was 16 years ago. If only I could go back in time and tell myself to enjoy that infant cry. If only I could visit the old me and tell her that those high blood sugars aren't her fault. If only I could cheer myself on and tell her/me that the boys will make it until tomorrow.
If only I didn't worry so much.
I believe we are here to find the joy in the little things, that our time on earth isn't meant to be miserable. I believe that there is a bigger picture and it is up to us to find the right perspective.
It is up to us to wake up in the morning and say to ourselves..."I'm going to make today as great as it can be. I'm going to hope my very best, try my very best, and love my very best." I think if we have the right perspective everything else will work itself out.
Because we are going to miss this.
We are going to miss today.
It is a country song that I have on my ipod. I don't listen to it hardly ever...but it does pop up now and then when I'm on the treadmill. It is by Trace Adkins and the chorus goes like this:
You're going to miss this You're going to want this back You're going to wish these days Hadn't gone by so fast These are some good times So take a good look around You may not know it now But you're going to miss this
This is all especially poignant to me as my oldest is a Junior in High School. It is going by too fast. I've made a total 180 on my earlier mantras...I don't want to speed up time...I want to stop it. I've said it before, if I could can them and keep them up on a shelf I would. I want to preserve their innocence. I want them to keep calling me mama.
We celebrate three birthdays this month. On Sunday J and B will be 8 and 10. J and B are my littles and they aren't so little anymore. J will be 14 in a couple weeks and M is 16.
Make. It. Stop.
Take it from a mama that missed out on the little things for too many years: Enjoy every moment. Even the bad ones.
'Cause you ARE going to miss them.
Even if right now is a roller coaster of emotions...
You ARE going to want this back.
I promise.
(This is me going rogue on day 4 of National Health Blog Posting Month in honor of Diabetes Awareness Month. Today's suggested topic was "what do you do with your blog post after you push publish." I reread and change it like a dozen times in case you were wondering. When you are an awful speller like myself, there is no other option. :)
Diabetes is a LOT of responsibility. It's like suddenly being forced to have a crazed pet that you never intended on having, that you CAN'T say 'no thanks' to, that you CAN'T give back, and that it's not even cute! It's an attention whore, it's expensive (the feeding it, taking it to the vet, getting it appropriate gear, appropriate medical tests, etc.), and if you don't control it, it goes off tearing up all the rooms in your house, destroying your toilette paper, pissing on your carpet, and ruining your good shoes. It will especially do these things when you're NOT paying attention; when you're away, and your mind's focused on other things, and often, BECAUSE your mind is focused on other things.
"You're crazy, Liz... How can Diabetes piss on my carpet??"
... Well, maybe not literally... :)
But every time you ignore your diabetes, or the longer you have lived with the struggle of controlling high blood glucose, it's a little bit like Diabetes is running amok in your blood stream. High blood glucose levels are more than just a little inconvenience -- aside from the dehydration, and morning after hangover feelings, and mood swings -- they can slowly cause damage to the many nerves, capillaries, and blood vessels that support, connect, and feed our organs; they can damage our organs themselves. If we don't do our best to control Diabetes, it can, potentially, really get out of hand. It can, figuratively, piss on your carpet.
It's because of this potential 'havoc' that there are many areas of our overall health that we must monitor, like our heart, our feet, our kidneys, our eyes, our teeth, etc. Finding the time, commitment, money, and insurance coverage support to care for all of these can be challenging, and sometimes intimidating.
Now imagine having to do all of this... without health insurance.
....
Welcome to MY world.
When you are Diabetic, and have NO health insurance, it can be easy to emotionally 'give up' with the mounting pressures of managing an expensive disease, and it can be easy to feel guilty that you can't have some of the things you need; you can become a bit complacent. But I want you to stop right there, and don't feel sorry for yourself: the internet is your friend. Repeat after me: THE INTERNET IS YOUR FRIEND. Make sure to do research, every day, and scour the very ends of the vast internet arena for some answers. Do NOT take no for an answer, do NOT stop looking, and never, EVER, give up. Just because some people out there may think that people like you, and me, should die without any appropriate care (because of their own misinformed, personal biases), does NOT mean that everyone else feels this way. Just because our health care system is broken, and because some doctors may work just for money, does not mean that there aren't doctors are out there, volunteering and sacrificing, every day... honoring their Hippocratic Oath. LOOK for them.
For some time now, since before diagnosis, I've been experiencing eye flashes, either on my left eye (most aggressively), and sometimes, on my right eye. I've been somewhat scared. A cousin of mine who lives too far away to visit, and is an optometrist, told me I needed to get to an eye doctor immediately because this was a potential retinal tear. All the what ifs started running through my mind... what if I was diagnosed just a bit too shy of being able to avoid complications? What if this is the start of retinopathy? What if all of this is going to send me into BANKRUPTCY?!
Well... The American Optometric Association has a program called "Vision USA," through which volunteer Optometrists have helped hundreds of thousands of low income families since 1991 with basic eye care. Just some basic eye exams, and some good ol' love for their fellow human beings. Basic eye care can go a long way into catching issues early, and preventing further complications from some gone ignored. I would have NEVER known about this, had I not done a little googling and filled out some forms. Vision USA helped pair me up with an eye doctor just BLOCKS from where I live, and that doctor did more than just some basic eye tests... He did extensive tests on me, including a dilated pupil eye exam, today, FOR FREE. To further my peace of mind, all my tests came out great. For now, at least, there's NOTHING wrong with my vision that can't, perhaps, be attributed to exhaustion, or aging... And that's worth a LOT for me to hear.
When every little penny pinched counts... there are just not enough ways to say THANK YOU. Thank you SO MUCH.
And when your diabetes pet wants to piss on your carpet... don't fret; get on the 'net. Whether it's for emotional support, or volunteer help... You are NOT alone.
I know you think you are too young to know. But he is the one, and he will make you happier than you ever imagined.
It is ok to go with your heart. Your heart is spot on.
But there is something you need to know. The journey that lies ahead, although blessed and sweeter than your wildest dreams, is also going to be harder than anything you can wrap your brain around.
You have worried about school tests, friendships and acne...but those worries don't even scratch the surface of the worry that will fill your entire being when your children are born.
They will be special. They will have needs that not many people will be able to comprehend. You will question if you are strong enough. You will question if your Heavenly Father truly knows how much you can handle...because there will be days he will give you ALL you can handle. Days when the heartache will feel like it will stop you heart at any moment.
But don't fear. Your children will be worth every sleepless night. Their resilience and their courage will inspire you to be better than you thought you could be. Stronger than you ever thought you would have to be. The refiners fire will mold the lives in your home into a true family.
A family that appreciates the little things.
A family that laughs harder, cries harder, and tries harder than most.
A family that is stronger together than apart.
It will be all you ever hoped for, and more.
I envy you, I remember all your hopes and dreams vividly. You may wonder if it is naive to think that love will see you through anything...
But let me tell you...
You are right. Love is all you need. and there will be plenty to go around.
All my love,
Your future you. Circa 2011
P.S. In 1998 you will find yourself in the hospital with your second born and a well meaning elderly lady will tell you that you shouldn't have any more children. You will meet her by chance in the cafeteria. She will be very intimidating, and make you feel like it is your fault your son was diagnosed. Kindly tell her to suck it for me. Thanks!
(Day three complete for National Health Blog Posting Month in honor of Diabetes Awareness Month!)
Our life wrapped up in a half hour weekly sitcom? I think not. What goes on around here is much too schizophrenic for that. We would need an entire network to accurately portray Our Diabetic Life.
Move over Oprah!
A Soap Opera on the network is a must. It would go into detail about my love/hate relationship with insulin. How I can't live without it around here, and how I wish my refrigerator could chew it up and spit it out. There would be a lot of dramatic looks away, and a lot of me kissing the insulin bottles feet.
We would need a comedy for sure. Laugh tracks will play when my son tells me that he had a dream a giant carb was chasing him...or when another son knocks his cereal bowl onto the floor and can't tell me how much was eaten or how much was lost. It would probably be a comedy of errors at best.
There would be action adventure. Meri vs. Wild? Wherein the first episode would be me stranded somewhere on a desert isle with the boys, and I must fashion an insulin pump out of a coconut, a reed and an ink pen. I could make it happen...I'm pretty sure...
We'd probably need a nightly horror flick. Our best episode would probably portray when J had a bleeder and it got all over my...CARPET...dun dun dun!!!! Another would be L's 36 on Halloween night. Talk about scary! Oh, I shudder just thinking about it!
A talk show would nicely round out the lineup. I would spew all my feelings at the camera, much like I do on this blog. I would cry a lot, laugh a lot and just plain go off on tangents a lot. I think the ratings would be pretty good for this one...everyone likes to see a vulnerable person go bat crazy right in front of their eyes. That is why reality shows do so well, right? Just catch me on a day when the boys all start their growth spurts and you'll have some pretty fantastical TV my friends.
It would be one big reality show network about our lives, and people will no doubt be exhausted from the emotional roller coaster it will take them on...but hey...tis our life! Our Diabetic Life.
(This will conclude day 2 of National Health Blog Posting Month. Where I will blog for 30 days straight in honor of Diabetes Awareness Month.)
Welcome. Yes, I think I'd like to take a moment to say welcome! I'm excited that you're here. :) Don't be scared... I won't bite! :) I promise you that I'm not THAT angry, most of the time. ;)
You may know me, not know me, love me, or hate me... Agree with me, or vehemently disagree with me; or run for the dictionary when you can't understand me... But three things you will NOT be while in my blog are a.) bored, b.) uneducated, and c.) indifferent.
I've sort of been avoiding having a blog, for the longest time, and I can't say I really know why... though some of it might be because I have a lot of passionate things to say (sometimes, outright angry things to say), and I fear people will not understand them, or gang up against them! (Gee, I hope not! heh)
I've created this space because I really feel I need it; a place to vent about the many issues affecting my living with Type 2 Diabetes, and other health conditions, on my own terms, without a lot of fancy sugar coating, sidestepping, or recrimination. Without fluffy bunnies, or unicorns farting glitter.
I hope that with this blog, you will truly learn what living with these conditions is all about, and not what the media, or other misinformed persons might tell you (whether they are fellow sufferers or not.)
I hope that this blog helps you understand that you are NOT alone in your frustrations, your feelings, and your challenges.
I hope that this blog makes at least, some of you, smile and cackle, and say "My GOD, I thought I was the ONLY one!," or at least... "My GOD, that woman is crazy!" :) It's OKAY to be a black sheep.
I also hope that you understand what this blog will NOT be....
A black and white guide to treating Type 2 Diabetes, or any other condition. Illness is a very individualized thing, with MANY variables, and many triggers. Always speak with your doctor, or find an Endocrinologist and/or other specialist.
A place where I tell you how to eat, and what to eat. It might be a place where I discuss what *I* eat, and how *I* manage my conditions, but what you do with your own dietary life and medical care is up to you, and your medical team. No one answer is the right answer.
A place for you to find your daily, optimistic affirmations. On some days, it might be; on some days, it might not be. This is simply, a place, where a woman faces her daily battles, with REALISM, and does not candy coat living with chronic illness for ANYONE.
A place for political correctness, or Utopian daydreaming. I have found great help in online communities; but I have also found great grief. I don't hide those things, or spin them.
So, pull up a chair... and join me! Whether it's angry rants, or tearful, joyful gratefulness, I promise not to tell anyone you're still munching on those peeps from last night.
Welcome to day one of my trip down the rabbit hole. If you didn't catch it yesterday, I'll be participating in National Health Blog Posting Month, (or NBPM,) in honor of Diabetes Awareness Month. This means I'll be blogging every day. That is a lot of me. I apologize ahead of time for week two or three, when you will undoubtedly be sick of my constant posts!
Today's prompt was: Titles of my future book. Say you’re writing a book about your life, community, condition, or Health Activism. Come up with working titles and a quick book jacket synopsis.
Actually, I didn't have to think about this one. I've always had a title for my life in the back of my swelly brain. It is just one more piece of information I am holding onto until I can use it someday.
The title would be: "My Umbrella of Hope"
I would have a picture of me in the rain, with an umbrella made out of the word hope...or something...
The tag line would be a little trickier...hmmm...maybe...
"Protecting my family from the Type 1 Diabetes storm."
Maybe, "TYRING to protect my family from the storm of Type 1 Diabetes."
Or...maybe my book should be called:
"My Kaleidoscope Life of Worry and Joy. The many emotions of a mother with three kids with Type 1 Diabetes."
How long are these titles allowed to be, anyway?
Good thing I don't have to come up with a hard answer now. I'm sure it will be years and years before I endeavour to take on writing a book. Maybe I should take on the teen years first? (Will I even survive the teen years? That remains to be seen.)
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