The School Lunch Debate: When Mystery Meat Is Truly A Mystery...

With the rising tide of juvenile type 2 diabetes, the debate on school lunches is one which is slowly starting to take the stage. It is, however, one of those subjects in which everyone has an opinion -- but not many have an actual evidence based opinion. Throw in the wrench that every school district is different, and you'll find mudslinging from all sides of the opinion spectrum:

Why can't parents just make healthful lunches for students? 

Well, right now, some schools are actually BANNING parents from preparing school lunches for their kids, claiming it is the parents making unhealthful meal choices. Of course, this is often true... No one can deny that. But it also makes many of us with diabetic loved ones CRINGE at the thought of what a school cafeteria lady, or health department, might think is a healthful school lunch. These places often lack in options. I'm thinking a main course of carbohydrates slathered in cheese and hot dogs, with a side of carbohydrates slathered in butter or salt, with a dessert full of carbohydrates, and a glass full of carbohydrates (because it has vitamins, so it must be good for your health, unlike that can of soda.) Your main sources of protein come from that powdered, grade A government issued cheese, and that powdered, grade A government issued milk. YAY. To top it off, throw an apple at it, for good measure, because apples make ANYTHING look healthy.

Some will argue, why can't parents just trust the school lunch system? 

'I always got healthful meals from the school system, and I turned out JUST fine.' I love these people the most. To them, anecdotal evidence is ALL the evidence that anyone will ever need, and it somehow, trumps everything. It's like seeing nothing but yellow parakeets, and assuming there are ONLY yellow parakeets in existence because that's all your local store carries. (Never mind that many of these folks have NO IDEA what a healthy meal even looks like, and tend to think that all a kid needs to do to stay healthy is to avoid candy and soda, and eat lots of fruitsandvegetables.)

Well, here's something that will blow your mind.

Did you know that the original idea of a 

'food pyramid' started  as a way to help 

ease food costs by spending money on basic, 

cheaper foods, and still get nutrition? The rest 

of the foods were meant as complements 

to enhance whatever nutrients were missing. 

Ever since the USDA started making low fat, 

high carb recommendations in the 80s, and 

implemented it's OWN food pyramid in 1992, 

obesity rates have skyrocketed.

The USDA describes their National School Lunch Program as: "a federally assisted meal program operating in public and nonprofit private schools and residential child care institutions. It provides nutritionally balanced, low-cost or free lunches to children each school day. The program was established under the National School Lunch Act, signed by President Harry Truman in 1946."

Right away, when you brush away the chaff... what should jump at you is the 'low-cost' descriptor used in this paragraph. What does this, casually thrown in, adjective have to say about this program? What is hidden between the lines? Well, what they don't tell you is that the National School Lunch Program started as a way to help a poor, starving population, through government subsidies --  the same subsidies programs which are still, to this day, overpowering our agricultural industry, and making it possible to produce mass amounts of low quality, less nutritionally dense foods. (McDonald's anyone?) When you invest in low quality, less nutritionally dense foods, they become LOW-COST, and easy to mass market to a multitude of industries, and other countries. Smaller farms CANNOT compete with the HUGE agribusiness industry that has come to dominate the markets, including... you guessed it -- the school lunch program market. While the school 'lunch ladies,' might VEND food for you, it usually comes pre-packaged, pre-made, or 'ready to make' sources, and local state federal agencies will contract their local school lunch program to a food service management company, to save a few bucks. If your local school district does not contract to one of these, they are the EXCEPTION.

The three companies, right now, that dominate the industry are Aramark, Compass Group, and Sodexo. They mass market less nutritional foods, serve nutritionally imbalanced meals, cut corners to save dollars, and contract with fast food giants to market to kids -- yes, including, soda manufacturers. Not only that, but they have been under investigation in the past, for serving foods SO low in quality, they were rejected by fast food industry safety standards. (It's gotta take a lot of balls to serve a kid something WORSE than fake fast food meat.) They have such a strong arm in the system, many of them have been able to lobby, and block legislation that would improve standards, including legislation that would have banned soda vending machines in some schools, for example. 

So when you throw in less nutritionally dense foods (so, even if you have a small serving of them, they're still not so great for you,) in an array of unbalanced meals (all carbs, and hardly anything else), no allowances for or enforcing of portion control (and just eat what you want, and how much you want of it), and the attending results of kids who will a.) not feel the stop and go of their hunger signals anymore, and b.) constantly feel hungry because they got no real nutrition, you will get increased likelihood of illness, development of chronic diseases, and a national fat kid tsunami.

That's right... every time your kid eats at one of these national school lunch programs, it's eating food that's probably worse than McDonald's. (And even if it would appear "balanced," the fact is... it's still food that is nutritionally inferior. Remember that. It's like comparing a home made creme filled cake, to a Twinkie. They are technically, the same thing, but that's where it ends. One of them still has FIBER, and many, many vitamins and minerals. I'll let you guess which one that is.)

Are you freaked out yet? YOU SHOULD BE.

Still, some people have blind faith in their National School Lunch Programs... And disbelieve or disregard those who try to stand up against it, and call for change. (Including some politicians.) But folks are fighting BACK. 


Folks like Sarah Wu, who "compelled by her own frustration with school meals — both as a mother and a teacher ... known anonymously as "Mrs. Q." committed to eating school lunch every school day in 2010 just like her students. Mrs. Q documented her experience and described the meals by blogging, tweeting and sharing photos on her blog Fed Up With Lunch: The School Lunch Project." Her blog is one of the first blogs to help capture national attention on this very concerning issue. Mrs. Q risked her employment on this... and there were many days I worried she'd get caught. Still, I cheered for her. Her voice has been effecting some serious awareness and change... but we need more.

More, nationally, as well as globally... Like little 9 year old, Martha Payne, from Scotland... who writes about her poor lunch school program at NeverSeconds. While you're not going to see her giving you an in-depth analysis on the corruption, and backdraft, of agribusiness subsidies... she will hold up every meal to critique, and scrutiny, so you can see with your own eyes what she and her peers are being served.

. . . 

America is at a critical point, right now... we are at a point where it's starting to matter very little what type of food you eat, because it was all cheaply made, and nutritionally bankrupt. Movies like "King Corn," "Supersize Me," and "Food, Inc.," have created some discussion... but quickly get swept under the rug as 'passing the buck,' and not taking personal responsibility for what we eat. But we are clearly living in a very obesogenic environment where it is getting increasingly difficult to make right and wrong decisions, and increasingly easy to be deceived. Yes, a lot of foods that make false health claims have food labels, and we could be better trained and educated at reading them... but what if we thought we were eating meat, and instead were getting meat with an incredibly high risk of bacteria, and lots of corn filler? What if it was given to us by a school lunch program, with no labels (just trust), and not the 'you should know better,' fast food industry?

Yes, we have freedom of choice, in America... as to what we eat. But to what EXTENT should we let the government and the food industry tamper with our food supplies? Market to us? To children who haven't yet developed some of the necessary critical thinking skills, and disciplines, to make good life choices? (Especially, when they don't even have a parent around, to help...) Or to populations with less income, less education, and less access to nutritious alternatives?

The rights and freedoms of those who want to make me less healthy (and not just by consuming more 'fats' and 'sugars,' mind you), start mattering VERY LITTLE to me... when the lives of children, and the future of our nations are involved.

I don't know how ALL chronic illnesses, cancers, and autoimmune conditions come to pass... but sometimes, I have a very good idea what might be contributing to their explosion... And it's not just having an extra piece of pie.

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A houseful of heroes

I live in a houseful of heroes.

The images of their valor and their wonderfulness are a clear snapshots in my mind.

It's in everything they do.

It's in everything they say.

It's in their smile, their laughs and their tears.

It's ever present.

How blessed am I to be surrounded by their optimism?

How blessed am I to witness their genuine determination, every day.  Every hour.  Every minute.

They make it seem easy.

Unfortunately, despite my awareness...I often take for granted everything they do.

M- He is a constant support.  Ask him to do anything...he will do it for you.  In a heartbeat.

J- My level headed boy who doesn't allow diabetes to define him.

B- Has never complained about his diabetes once.

L- His sweet heart wants only to give love and happiness to others.

Ryan- Despite cancer, he is working harder than ever.  The doctors are in awe of him.  As am I.

My efforts are so inadequate compared to their theirs.  I feel like I fail them all the time.

But I love them wildly.  No one can love them like I do.

My heart bursts from gratitude that they are part of my life.

I have a houseful of heroes.

Every day I have with them is a win.

Each memory we make is a blessing.

God forbid I waste the time we have together with anger and self pity.

We have too much to be thankful for.

And tonight, more than anything...I am thankful for my five boys.

Five heroes.  Five times blessed.

(On a side note, this is my 400th blog post.  Thank you for taking this ride with me...I know it hasn't been a smooth one, and yet you ride along anyway.  I'm thankful I can purge my deepest emotions here, and then leave them on the page as I go live a "normal" life.  Thank you for putting up with me, lifting me in my hardest times, and supporting our family in our victories.  Next to marrying Ryan, starting Our Diabetic Life has been the best decision of my life.  Here's to the next 400!)

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Guest Blog Post: A Diabetes Service Dog for Sarah

Here at the Angry Type 2 Diabetic, we see 'ourselves' as a voice to ALL persons with diabetes... So, even though we generally use this space to share about our own type 2 diabetic experiences, we'd like to cheerfully lend the spotlight, this week, to our friend, Michelle. Michelle is a wonderful mom to a type 1 diabetic child, and she has a very important message to share with ALL of you. You may find Michelle's regular blogging space at The Tightrope Tango, and show her some follow love.  

My name is Michelle, and first I want to thank my good friend Lizmari for lending me space on her awesome blog. Lizmari is an awesome advocate for all people living with diabetes, regardless of type. She’s also the reason we enjoyed some pretty awesome Ice Cream Sundae’s last August.

Most people I talk to (and I talk quite a lot these days) have never heard of a diabetes alert dog. We all know about Guide Dogs for the Blind, and most of us have heard of dogs to assist people with other disabilities such as mobility, seizures, hearing, etc. Diabetes alert dogs are specially trained dogs that focus on the scent of their person, and let that person know when their blood sugar begins to drop to an unsafe level. These dogs are most commonly used by people with type 1 diabetes, but some with type 2 diabetes are also using diabetes alert dogs to keep them safe.

Why is this necessary? Well, a lot of diabetics either never have, or lose the ability over time to sense changes in blood sugar. My daughter, Sarah, is 12. She’s had type 1 diabetes for about two and a half years. Since the beginning she’s had trouble recognizing when her blood sugar is low, until it is dangerously low (sometimes in the 40’s and 50’s mg/dL). Normal blood sugar (for a non-diabetic) ranges from around 70mg/dL to 130mg/dL. If blood sugar drops too low, unconsciousness, seizures, and death can occur. Sarah has difficulty feeling drops in her blood sugar during the day, but she does not feel them at night, period. Since she’s been diagnosed, she has never… not once… woken because she felt a low blood sugar. That is scary. The JDRF (Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation) reports that 1 in 20 people with type 1 diabetes will DIE of a low blood sugar. 1 in 20! That's not a typo. It's not 1 in 20,000, it's 1 in 20. (http://www.jdrftalk.org/2011/11/07/percentage-people-type1-diabetes-die-low-blood-sugar-hypoglycemia/). I can’t let my beautiful child become a statistic, so right now I set alarms for 10:30, 11:30, and 2am. Sometimes more, sometimes less, depending on her food and activity for the previous day.

But I’m not perfect, and I make mistakes.

Once, last December, she went extremely low (27mg/dL). She was unresponsive. It was only around midnight and I only caught the low because I checked on her and found that she was horribly pale and covered in sweat. I saved her life that night, because she was still dropping and the body can't sustain a blood sugar much lower than that for very long. If I hadn't checked on her, she very easily could have slipped into a coma and been gone by morning.

We tried a CGM (continuous glucose monitor) but Sarah has a metal allergy and gets a severe rash. This is where the diabetes alert dog comes in. Diabetes alert dogs are not for everyone. They require a lot of care. They eat a lot, they poop a lot. Honestly, in the beginning I thought that a diabetes alert dog was too much responsibility for a child. But my child proved me wrong by volunteering many hours every month with Guide Dogs for the Blind. She learned to handle, groom, and correct them. She grew to love her new friends, and has taken weekend responsibility for a Guide Dog puppy on a number of occasions. 

I believe that in a few years, maybe 5, maybe 20, that diabetes alert dogs will be much more common and understood. Discounting the fact that an alert dog is a living animal, an alert dog is a medical device, a tool. An alert dog is always on watch with their wonderful nose. An alert dog can think, and will go find help if their charge doesn’t respond to their warnings. Guide Dogs call it intelligent disobedience, a term that describes when a dog makes a decision to take an action outside its normal training that is in the best interest of their person. This could be a dog that leaves Sarah’s side during school to go take the alert to the teacher or other adult. This could be leaving Sarah’s room during the night to come into my room and let me know that Sarah needs help.

The last thing I’d like to say to everyone who reads this is to not discount the needs of someone with diabetes simply because they don’t have an obvious disability. Many kids, like my Sarah, are active, funny, enthusiastic, and because their health, food and activity is watched very closely, they often appear healthier than the average child their age. I’ve had a few eyerolls when I’ve told people that my bouncy child, who just exudes health and vitality, needs a service dog to keep her safe. For someone with type 1 diabetes, safe and healthy require a lot of work, lots of acting on instinct, guesswork, etc. It’s not as easy as it looks, and even with constant effort we have lows and highs that could not have been predicted. Diabetes is always. It never stops. It never goes away or gives us a break. Sarah takes large doses of insulin 4-6 times a day. Any one of those could send her to a fatal low if she or I misjudge the carbohydrates in her food or misjudge how her activity will affect her.

Can you be 100% right ALL the time?

At this time, diabetes alert dogs are not covered by insurance. Those of us who have made this choice for our child must generally pay for the cost of training the dog. My hope is that once the abilities of these dogs are more fully understood and accepted, more groups like Guide Dogs for the Blind can be formed to raise funds and provide these amazing dogs at low or no charge to the family. The first step in making this a reality is education. Tell someone you know about these dogs, and help spread the word. Even if you don’t know someone with diabetes, someone you know does.

Talk. Educate. Your words can help save someone’s life.

If you’d like to learn more about Sarah’s journey to a diabetes alert service dog, please visit either her facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/ADiabetesServiceDogForSarah or her website at www.pawsforsarah.com. Sarah’s dog is coming from Canine Hope for Diabetics in Riverside, CA, hopefully in early 2013. 

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Metformin and PCOS: Taking the Plunge... with Googly Eyes

"It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all." -- J.K. Rowling

I've been on every diet, I think. Every way of eating, or not eating, or thinking... or approaching. I've had the most success with intuitive eating, and with mindful control of carbohydrates, or lowered carbohydrate eating... and I stick to that.

People will say do this, do that, do the other... you're not doing it right, you ought to do x, y, and z... (while they ought to shut their pie holes.)

I've been on the chicken and lettuce diet, the LA diet, the beat juice diet, the LA Juice Fast diet... The 700 calorie a day, 36 grams of carbohydrate starvation diet... Weight Watchers, Doctor's Weight Loss, etc, etc...

You name it.

But with intuitive eating, and lower carb eating, I've lost the most weight and kept the most weight off long term -- AND, been happy.

Time passes by, however... and not in vain. I'm no longer 15.

Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome is taking it's toll on me, and while I've fought hard... with exercise, lowered carbs, birth control, and supplements for 20 YEARS.... I am now ready to admit that I need some help with it, and start a regular course of Metformin on top of my birth control regimen, and my Inositol.

A lot of people might see this as some sort of failure, or disappointment, but it's not. It's just a next step in management -- and in GOOD health. And my blood glucose numbers are fine, actually... But the hair that keeps camping on my face (while leaving my head), the continuous acne, darkening Acanthosis Nigricans around my neck, and the weight I've been putting on are NOT. I have MORE than paid my dues... and I'm quite happy to accept some help so that I don't spend more hours than I need to plucking hair. >:S

I don't feel bad about this decision; I actually feel quite relieved... I feel like maybe my ovaries won't get crushed under this weight, and I might have a chance (not that I want to, right now) to have a brat or two, one day. Who knows.

Or... maybe I might find a man who loves me and gets to see me while I actually still look like a woman -- and not, you know... like Homer Simpson. (Though there might be men out there who like the Homer Simpson look... Again, who knows.)

In any case, I am officially on Met... and no, my goal is not to get off of it, somehow. I will likely never get off of it. Even if my blood sugars are perfect; even if I weigh a 100 lbs. PCOS is a vicious disease... And in these 20 years, I've been so many different weights, it's not even funny. 170, 128, 190, 142, 248, 170... I know it's not going to go away, magically, with the next Dr. Douchebag's Book of Eat Green Raw Crap From the Ground, and Cure All Your Ailments with Monkey Poop.

So... why not do the NEXT best thing? Yes, I know you know...
PUT GOOGLY EYES ON THAT BIG ASS BOTTLE OF METFORMIN.

One should always put googly eyes on things one is hesitant to trust 

Take that, bitch. Ain't no one gonna make me feel like I'm downing horse pills. lol I will laugh at you... every time I see you. xD Bwahahahahahahaha.

What's in your pill and supplement arsenal? I'll show you mine, if you show me yours...

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D Blog Week: What Our Diabetic Life is REALLY about

Today, on day 6 of D Blog Week, we are supposed to post some "snapshots" of Our Diabetic Life. 

I was going to just post this one, entitled: Set Change Night...

Or this one entitled:  One Long Night...

Or even this one entitled:  Our Survival Kit...

but then I realized that these pictures don't really embrace what OUR Diabetic Life is all about.

Our life is about love.  Our life is about support.  Our life is about family.

Our life is about friendship, and being there for each other.

So I'm posting this video of L that wraps up Our Diabetic Life in a nutshell.

This one's for you...

For those of you who receive my posts via email, the video won't show up in your inbox.  You'll have to click the link to my blog HERE to see the post.  Thank you!

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D Blog Week: Trying to hit a moving target.

I am dedicating this post to people who don’t understand Type 1 Diabetes. Especially for those who figuratively roll their eyes at Type 1 Diabetes and for those who have uttered, “How is it THAT big of a deal?” or have lectured, “At least it’s not cancer!” 

To those who have learned everything about diabetes from Dr. Oz...this one's for you.

For you my dear friends, I am putting you in charge of bolusing my son for lunch today. (Bolusing means giving my son insulin. There is a whole new language that comes with this disease.) Come on…it is ONE time. Fix my son up for lunch. It’s no big deal, right? Give it a whirl!

Here is your scenario: (and I promise this is a VERY typical one.I picked the boy with the easiest ratios too, because I don't want to be mean.)

My son calls you at 12:15pm. He has just eaten his lunch and wants to know how much insulin to give himself.

Some information you will need to know:

His blood sugar number was 130 before he ate lunch at 11:50am.

He ate ½ an apple…most of his pretzels, his yogurt and his entire sandwich. He also ate an Oreo that his friend gave him.

He gets 1 unit of insulin for every 20 grams of carbs he eats.

One unit of insulin brings his blood sugar, (or BG) down 100 points. His blood sugar goal for this time of day is 110.

Ready to calculate?

Correction= .2 units. To bring his sugar down the twenty points needed.

Carb bolus= 10g for the ½ apple, 10g for the mostly eaten 15 carbs of pretzels I packed him, 40g for the sandwich, 15g for the yogurt and 5g for the cookie. That is 80g of carbs. 80g Carbs is 4 units of insulin.

So what would you give him? 4.2 units of insulin?

You would be totally wrong.

You don’t have all the information! Yes, his pre lunch BG was 130. But he had snack 1 hour and 40 minutes before that. He had a banana for snack, which was 30g of carbs. So at 10:15 he got 1.5 units of insulin. Insulin stays in your system for 3 hours, the body absorbing about 1/3 of that insulin every hour. So my boy had approximately 0.7 units still on board.

Better subtract that 0.7 units that is still in his system from the 4.2 units you were planning on giving him.

That means you are now going to give him 3.5 units…

STOP! Don’t do it!

More information needed!

He has PE after lunch today. They are doing relay races. Exercise DROPS his blood sugar like a rock.

Better take away a unit of insulin for good measure! (Why 1 unit? I just know that one unit will do the trick. HOW do I know? I can't file away HOW I know it! My brain will explode! I just know it! Instincts are a big part of taking care of a child with diabetes.)

So now, how much insulin are you going to inject into my little boy?

2.5 units.

Better…but ummm…sorry. There is yet another small bit of information you need to take into account. We have been adjusting this boy’s basal rates. (The underlying insulin that his pump delivers to him in small puffs every few minutes throughout the day.) My son has just ended a growth spurt and has been suddenly, for the last two days, dropping like crazy between 1 oclock and three oclock. Since we wait 5 days to establish a pattern, we need to leave his basals as is…and at this moment, we need to adjust for these potentially scary lows.

Better take off another ½ unit to keep him safe. (Yeah, because I said so!)

Final answer: 2 units of insulin needs to be delivered.

And you were going to give him how much? 4.2???

That is 2.2 units of insulin too much. That amount of insulin would have brought his blood sugar down 220 points. Which with all the running around he was doing…would have put his blood sugar number at a negative number.

Yeah, you can’t be alive with a negative number.

But don’t worry! We get to do this again for his afternoon snack! And again at dinner! And again before bed! And again at 1 in the morning, and again at breakfast tomorrow! LOTS and LOTS of practice!

PLUS! I have two other boys I get to do this for every day!

And the variables are never ending! A meal eaten with high fat changes everything. A meal eaten a couple hours earlier with high fat changes everything! A big test at school changes things! A substitute teacher changes things! A small cold changes EVERYTHING! A growth spurt changes everything! A fieldtrip changes everything! A night of unexplainable highs changes everything…for the entire day! The weather sometimes even changes everything! EVERYTHING CHANGES EVERYTHING!

I joke around about my swelly brain, but it is more real than I care to admit. The constant cog turning of blood sugar variables can put me over the edge. I am the only one that knows my son’s basals are probably too high in the afternoon. I am the only one who knows that one son’s blood sugars aren’t affected by pasta, and my other son’s sugars go through the roof with pasta. I am the only one who knows that J has PE on B Block days, and he needs less insulin for breakfast those days.

Sure! I share this information with my husband when I can. But here’s the kicker…the information changes every day! Every day I am storing new information I am learning about my boys’ blood sugar trends.

I couldn’t even write it all down if I tried.

And hey, I just tried.

There is so much information stored up in the attic of my brain, your cogs would seriously be sent into a disastrous tailspin if you tried to absorb even a fraction of it. And I’m not trying to be mean or anything.

I’m only able to tolerate the swelliness because I have been slowly acquiring these mountains of information every day for the past 12 years. I have attended this school 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. I used to be a student, now I run the place. Sorry…you can’t learn it all in one session.

Worst part is…I don’t know everything there is to know about this disease. Cause, I’m not a pancreas. I am a human being. Unfortunately…

So when you think you are ready to judge even one second of my split second decision about my boys’ health…think again.

Because this disease is impossibly complicated. I spend my life trying to hit a moving target.

And that is all I have to say.

(This concludes day 5 of D Blog Week.  The topic was, "What is the one thing you would tell someone who doesn't have diabetes about living with diabetes."  Obviously, my one thing is diabetes is complicated.  This is actually a repost from a couple years ago.  M is turning 17 today and we are getting ready for a big, well deserved party for him tonight. )

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D Blog Week: It's my list and I can fantasize if I want to

Today's Diabetes Blog Week prompt asks us to come up with a fantasy diabetes device that would make our world better.  I wrote the following list in less than 5 minutes.  Me thinks maybe I think about this stuff more than I think I do..

So in true Letterman style I present to you:

Meri's top 10 list of 

Made up diabetes care devices

 countdown style

10.  Cracked tubing alert sensor.  Within the past month we have fought three intense rounds with cracked tubing.  Cracked tubing that allowed no insulin to be injected...which led to large ketones and miserable kids.  It would be nice to know if the tubing has been compromised for sure.  (cough...understatement...cough.)

9.  Ketones automatically tested with every blood sugar test.  It would be a combined test, using one strip.  (And lest I'm not specific enough, this fantasy includes the strip NOT costing 10 bucks a piece.)

8.  Implanted microscopic microphones.  If I could get these embedded  into my boys ears, I could be their Jiminy Cricket.  "Did you test your sugar?  Did you forget to brush your teeth?  Don't forget to return your library book.  Ummm...did you test your sugar?"  You know you want to do it.

7.  A low fix that can fit into your pocket, and doesn't taste or look like a glucose tab.  Instant, easy, durable.  Is that too much to ask?  Not in my fantasy world, baby!

6.  Automatically texted blood sugar numbers from child's monitor.  I think this exists, but I want one that works on wifi and doesn't cost me an arm and a leg for a subscription.

5.  Noninvasive blood sugar testing.  Where is that dang watch?????  How hard is it to invent a flipping watch that infrared-ly checks blood sugars?!  We can invent snuggies and we can't invent this?  Come on!

4.  A glucagon chamber on the pump...in case of emergency press gluc button.  I think the bionic pancreas has this...but I'd like it on the next generation Medtronic pump.  (That means I want it now.  And by now, I mean yesterday.)

3.  A swelly brain deflator.  Nuff said.

2.  A blood sugar monitor that alarms if a teen hasn't checked in a certain amount of time.  One that alarms LOUD and Proud and can't be turned off unless a sample has been added to the strip.  Which on the surface, I know, sounds really mean.  But trust me, one time with that alarm going off and J won't let it go off again.

And the number one device...would be...

A cure.

How is that a device?

Hello...FANTASY device.  I'll let the fantasy world work out the deets on that one.

This concludes day 4 of D Blog Week...to see other blogs on this topic visit the link HERE.

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D Blog Week: Diagnosis M.C.A.F.

Today's topic for D Blog Week is "One thing you need to work on."

Sharing my secret shame:  That's what I get for blowin' my own SWAG-nificent horn yesterday...

 I get put in my place.

I've written about it before.  But it's bad.  It's real bad. 

I have M.C.A.F.

Midnight Check Alarm Fatigue.

If you aren't familiar with this condition, here is an excerpt from Web MD:  The deterioration of certain ear parts, and subconscious elimination of alarm sound in the wee hours of the night.

In other words...I don't wake up to my alarm anymore.

(FYI:  That isn't on Web MD. I made it up...except I didn't .  It's really real.)

I'm so far progressed in this condition that I honestly don't know if the alarm blares music at 10 million decibels, or if it just doesn't go off at all.  There is also a scenario that it  gets turned off by the angels, or Satan....or me. 

I have no recollection of it in the morning, and I'm not happy about it.

Maybe it is years and years and years of me waking up multiple times a night.  Maybe my body is rebelling.  Maybe my brain has to completely check out at night to survive these days.  I don't know. 

I WANT so badly to hear it.

 But since I don't...I have no choice but to stay up.

Lately if things are awry, I'll stay up until 12:30.  If things are really bad I'll ask Ryan to get up for me after that.   Sometimes I set RYAN's alarm, have him wake up, so he can shake me, so I'll get up.

It's one thing that has fallen apart in my diabetes management.  I'm not writing here to argue the merits of a the nighttime check...I believe in it for a million reasons I won't write out today. 

But it is what it is.

Something I need to work on, or rather, something I need to find a solution for.

Luckily, the mySentry alarm DOES wake me. 

Weird.

Classic diabetes conundrum.  Diabetes management never makes perfect sense.

Maybe if I start a M.C.A.F. support group, I'll be able to work through my problem.

I'll be the President.  I'm opening up the floor to nominations for VP.

Wait...do support groups have Presidents? 

Let's make it a club instead...

See how I made my problem fun???  Clubs are fun!  Here is a pic of me in one of my first clubs...

The Starlets!

And how dare you accuse me of using a cute pic of me in a Garfield shirt to distract you from my secret shame!  Well, I NEVER!

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D Blog Week: I got the moves like SWAG-ger

Today's prompt asks us to be totally conceded and tell everyone how great we are at something in regards to our children's diabetes care.

How am I supposed to spout out how great I am at something?

I mean, really?  For someone like me it seems close to impossible...

Because I'm really not great at something...

...

I'm AH-MAZ-ING at something!

Great doesn't even begin to cover it.

(lol!  I made a funny!)

Today I am going to talk about one of my super powers.  SWAGing.

For the newbies out there, SWAG is a acronym for Sientific Wild A** Guess.

I do this "SWAGING" thing when I am counting carbs. 

Which honestly, I think I do more than anything else in life.

I'm so good at it, I've got my kids convinced that I am magic.  They will often eat a plate of food in one room, and then come into the other room where I am and say, "How many carbs?"

"ummmm...let me look in my crystal ball.  Seriously?"

Just as outrageous is the phone calls I get every day at lunch.  My two littles call me before lunch to get their lunch insulin.  This means I have to GUESS what they are going to eat.  Luckily, I pack their lunches and learned the oh so smart trick to give them VERY little lunches.  1/2 sandwich.  1 yogurt or 1 cheese stick.  Crackers or pretzels or chips.  They eat the fruit I pack them for snack.  This means they eat what I give them.  Then, when they get home they have a big snack.  

Calling from school for me to count birthday treat carbs is another example.

"It's so and so's birthday...we are having cupcakes...how many carbs?"

"How big?  How much frosting?  Is there candy on top?   Is it homemade or from a store?"  (Sadly, this conversation is the story of my life since it is the last days of school and party-pa-looza.)

Now I know what you are thinking.

"Meri, why don't you create a website where we can download pictures, and you can SWAG for everybody all the live long day!"

Alas, I cannot.  Because sadly, there is a caveat to my super power. 

It only works for my boys.  No one else.

When I meet up with other T1 families, I'll often get asked the question, "How many carbs do you think?"

But I've found that carb counting is very individually specific.   My boys are true examples of that.

Subconsciously, and within milliseconds of seeing a plate of food,  I'll adjust carbs to the situation, taking into account past highs or lows at certain times of day, past effects of food on blood sugars, and activity of the day...so on and so forth.  Case and point.  All three of my boys get different carb counts for the same bowl of cereal in the morning.

My endo and nurse hate that I do that.  (Waving our diabetes team in SF right now!  HI GUYS!)  They hate it because it provides more work for me...but honestly there are like 50 variables that go into how I SWAG a meal, and I can do it in seconds of calculating.  No other human can do it for my boys like I can.  (Except my SIL and my husband. They are almost as good as me, but they are good at everything, so it isn't fair to compare.  My husband wants to me to add here that they are my Scottie Pippen to my Michael Jordan, but this is my blog, and no sports analogies are allowed....wait... )

Anyway, my system works for us.  I can SWAG in the most unlikely of conditions in just a glance. 

It's been 14 years.  It is part of me now.

But there is a humbling factor to all of this.  J has been SWAGing for himself for a good two years now,

and he is better than I am.

Poo.

I don't know how that little sucker does it, but he gives me a run for my money.  I think he was sent here to keep my ego in check.

So yeah, my head won't blow up from swagging self adulation.

 It is probably for the best...my brain is swelly enough as it is.

This concludes day 2 of D Blog Week, masterminded by the incomparable Karen at Bitter Sweet.  Want to see who else posted on this topic?  Check it out HERE.

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D Blog Week: Call of the Wild...card.

This is day one of D Blog week...

SQUEE!!!

All my favorite peeps throughout the blogosphere are coming together and posting the entire week on a chosen set of topics.

Today is:  Find a friend.  Introduce us to a blog you love!

But I can't do it.  I can't choose just one person, (or 2 or 3 or 4.) That would require making a decision, and I am really sucky making these "decision" things these days.  Maybe it's my inner don't-want-to-disappoint-anyone copping out...but every blog is amazing, and has so much value!  Above is a tab that says, "More Sweet Peeps."  Click it and transport yourself into blogger heaven baby!

I'm going for the wild card today!  'Cause I'm super rebellious WILD like that!!  The Wildcard is: Something Good to Eat.  Share a favorite recipe with us.

Yesterday was Mothers Day.  I was spoiled.  Not shockaprising to say the least.

I got an ipad, because yeah...I'm not online enough.  I got beautiful homemade cards and pictures, and even a box full of love and adoration from my 14 year old J.

But the bestest part...was breakfast.

Ryan always cooks the most amazing breakfasts.  This is what mine looked like yesterday:

Eggs Benedict!

I know...WOWZA!  And it tasted even better, if you can imagine.

So today I'm going to share Ryan's secret, on how to poach an egg. 

1) Get a big pot, like about a 10"-12" pot and fill it up with 4 to 5 inches of water.

2)  Add about 1 Tablespoon of White Vinegar into the water.

3) Bring it to a light boil.

4)  Crack an egg in a small bowl or cup.  Crack another one in another small bowl or cup.

5)  Take a spoon and make a whirlpool in the water.  Going around in circles with the spoon.

6)  As soon as you pull the spoon out, gently pour/drop in one egg in at a time, try to leave space between the two.  Ideally the eggs will turn around and the whites will fold over the yolks.

7) Set the timer for three minutes.  No more stirring.  Just wait.

8)  When the timer goes off, scoop them out with a slotted spoon.

Viola!

An English Muffin.  A poached egg.  A little hollandaise sauce.  A slice of Canadian bacon that has been fried.  And if you are like us...maybe a little avocado or asparagus on top.   All topped with a sprinkle of paprika.

YUM!

I have to admit, it tastes even better when you have someone else doing the clean up! 

(Told you it was a rockin' Mothers Day!)

This wraps up day 1 of D Blog Week!  PHEW!  Just under the wire!  Thank you Karen for all your hard work making this happen!  Want to sign up?  It isn't too late!  Sign up HERE.

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Diabetic Humble Pie

It was Wednesday at 2 AM, and I couldn't sleep. I stared at the walls intently as if they held hidden messages for me; my own hieroglyphs to decipher. Suddenly, just like an omen in a bad movie, the soft light that usually bathes the bedroom's walls was gone; complete blackness engulfed everything. Five minutes later, there was light, alright... Lightning and thunder made their explosive way into the picture. The stuff usually soothes, and helps me sleep, but that wasn't going to be the case on this morning. This morning I had to rise early, and walk to work... and it was going to be a very interesting, and very wet, walk to work.

And I can't begin to tell you just how interesting. 

Let's just say I completely underestimated the situation, and thought it was just... well... an annoying moment of rain, and some fading thunder. At 4 am, though, let's just also say that some things are better left unseen. 

Most of the homes on my city's main avenue are small, and unimpressive. Not a blight, by any means, but just average homes that probably serve as 'first homes' to many newlyweds, or even some retired folks. They don't really have much in the way of yards, trees, or shrubbery, but I got to see a few fallen branches here and there, and that's common out here in Iowa during some of our Spring storms. No biggie. 

But then, you hit a slight bend up the road... and the homes become bigger, 'stately', and with sprawling large front lawns, gardens, and trees. You might even see a posh car or two, parked on a driveway; testament to how much someone, somewhere, makes. And this is where the horror began. 

Have you ever seen a a tree trunk that's, maybe, a few feet wide, in diameter? Yes? Now, have you ever seen it BENT IN HALF, like the bending of a simple tulip stem; like a Twizzler... Like it was made of rubber? Well, at this point in my walk, very MANY of the trees were in this state.

I got quite scared. The city sirens never rang that morning, and no warnings or advisories were in effect for my county. But I know quite well a few of you KNOW what this represents. Unless the Jolly Green Giant's bratty son was out and about, or Godzilla, for that matter... the only two things I know that can do this to such large trees are tornadoes, and hurricanes. And we don't have hurricanes up in the northern Midwest. 

I really didn't know if this was still happening in the vicinity... I sure didn't hear anything in the way of a "freight train" noise. But by then, I was closer to work than to home, so I tried to finish the journey as quickly as possible, and get out of harm's way. Stupid? Maybe. Later, in the papers, experts were looking into whether a tornado 'potentially' touched down in Ames. Well, you sure could've fooled me. :/ 

I was very scared, and when I get scared... I tend to get angry at the impotence of the situation. Scared of being alone, scared I have nothing to rely on to save my own behind, and very angry. I don't know why... like what could I do? Slap the sky? I guess I just want life to happen smoothly, sometimes, and not scare the crap out of me. Not force me into confrontations, or situations I don't want. I JUST WANTED TO DO WHAT I HAD PLANNED - GET TO WORK! 

But life seldom cares what we want, and we have to roll with it...

So we come to Friday, at the second job. I worked an 11-5 pm shift, and I'd been sick with a stomach virus for a few days. Really, foolish or not, I didn't have much in my stomach at that moment; I was just too scared I couldn't keep any of it down. 

Lunch rush starts at this Mexican restaurant, and I'm quickly into the groove of things, making order after order after order. It's okay...! I'm in my element! Things are going awesome... 

And then, without notice, the floor was made of lava, and I was in a movie, and people were watching me. And I was making those burritos... on a compartment, atop a roller coaster ride, and trying to hold on soooo hard to the railing. I think I thought the burritos were the railing, at one point. Everything was funny, and sooo not funny, at the same time. I got scared, and very angry.

I wanted to stop, but there was no one else there. I'm pretty knew, so people don't really know much about what I need, or don't need, and frankly... I only work a few hours, part time. I guess I foolishly thought I could get away with it. I *knew* that I was having a quite sudden, and quite low, LOW. But I couldn't stop.

"I can finish this lunch rush," I say to myself... I can. By the time rush was done, I'm sure some of my folding, and wrapping, looked as mangled as those trees on my main avenue. I was so sick feeling, and so scared... Like a person drowning, and their head rising in and out of the water. Where the hell are the jellybeans? I quickly announced I'm going on break -- whether people like it or not -- and NO ONE refused. They must've seen something in my eyes, and wisened up. 

Funny, the place is typically crawling in ho-hos, twinkies, and jelly beans... and not a damn piece of sugar was in sight. 

Luckily, I ate through 3 pieces of candy I had in my pocket (too scared to go down the greasy, steep steps to the basement, and find my purse, and get the meter and the glucose tabs), and a cup of regular soda... 30 minutes later things seemed to improve. My break was only 15. 

I will have to ask if I can keep things upstairs -- we can't really keep personal things, nor food, in the work areas. But it's going to have to be... an uncomfortable conversation. I just don't like to bring it up.

ALL I WANTED WAS TO DO MY JOB, AND FINISH, AND GO HOME. 

In the end, I took a detour through Alice's Wonderland of Diabetic Crap, and finished with a terrible headache... and NOT from the magic mushrooms. :/ 

I hate Diabetes. *&^%#! Diabetes.

Lesson: We can't exactly plan for every situation, in life. Who the heck knows when a tornado's going to come in, and rip through your lunch rush, at work... BUT we must be willing to reach out to others, and identify safe beacons along the way. Don't hurt yourself because you want to be tough, and stubborn, and stupid. Just don't. It's so not worth it... 

"One order of diabetic humble pie, please. For here." 

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We are the D Mothers

We are called D Moms.  D Mamas.   Even Type 3's.

Sometimes we get a bad rap.

~We're too "intense."

~We worry too much.

~We are overbearing.

~We over think.

~We over react.

~We over manage.

And I only have one thing to say about all of that...

You are probably right.

I want to tell you that if you are a parent, you can understand.

But that is not true.

I want to tell you that if you have diabetes yourself, you can understand.

But that is not true either...just as I will never fully understand your diabetic life,

you will never fully understand mine.

The only way you would understand what goes on in the swelly brain of a D Mama,

is if you were a D Mama yourself.

We are special.  Chosen for our story, as you were chosen for yours.

We are fighters, and we will fight until our last breath to keep our children safe.

New technologies like fast acting insulin and insulin pumps provide keys for better management, but they also provide a clear and present danger at all times.

We have to be vigilant.

We look into the eyes of our children and we love them with a bright tenderness.  We want more than anything for them to live a life free from restrictions, free from prejudice, free from complications, free from emergency rooms and hospitals.

We feel a responsibility well beyond any bounds of normalcy.  We do not want to live a life of regrets.  One day we will need to look into the eyes of our adult Type 1 Children and we want more than anything to say...

"I did my best."

The mothers of Type 1's spend every day racked with guilt.   Every blood sugar number pierces our heart.  We feel responsible for every high and every low.

An argument can be made that diabetes is responsible for every one of those numbers, but in our eyes...whether a reasonable notion or not, we feel they are a reflection of our efforts.

We may not always admit it to you, or to ourselves...but we take those numbers personally.

The A1C isn't called the mommy report card for nothing.

We do not sleep.  That is a choice.  We choose to keep a close eye on the numbers while the world takes a break.  We don't take breaks.  We know that waking up with a off number can domino to the rest of the day. 

We know that pancreases sputter.

We know the soccer game from 5 hours earlier can affect the nighttime numbers.

(Yet we urge them to play.)

We know that Pizza can wreak havoc hours after consumption, and we know that Chinese food for dinner means a sleepless night for us.

(Yet we delight in serving them their favorites anyway.)

We know that diabetes never sleeps.  That is why we don't either.

We know that a 200 can turn into a 52 in 30 minutes flat.

We know that on field trip days our children may spike with excitement, or bottom out from activity.

We know nothing is for sure.

So we check, and constantly ask our children how they are feeling...and we hover...watching every move...looking for changes in our children's faces...changes in their gait...tiny beads of sweat on the back of their necks...we know the signs of lows.  We know our children better than anyone else.

We love hard.

We try hard.

We cry hard.

We hug hard.

We hope hard.

We stress hard.

We are hard on ourselves.

We are D mamas.   

Don't judge us because we fret over the details.  To us...Our Diabetic Life is all about the details.

We are 100% responsible for the well being of children we love more than anything on this blessed green earth.

No, we will not back off.

No, we will not calm down.

No, we will not stop making noise.

As mothers, we know that our children are special.  Diabetes makes them stronger.  It makes them resilient, responsible, amazing.  It gives them a sense of humor.  It makes them grow up too fast, and let's them spread their wings too slow.

We wish we could take away the pain. 

We wish it were us.


We are warriors.


We are D Moms.

Hear.   Us.   Roar.

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