Monday, March 12, 2012

An ocean of emotion.

When your emotions are an ocean and you are damming the flow with Kleenex, one has to tread lightly at all times. But when monthly hormones get thrown into the mix? Forget about it. The ocean's tempest cannot be contained.

I'm a wreck.

All the feelings that I have been able to keep in check have risen to the surface.

Where is the peace?

All I can do today is pray.  Oh how I wish I could look into His eyes and hear him tell me, "All is well."

Despite my substantial support group, today...I felt alone. I confided in the Lord that I felt guilty that I wished our relationship was more tangible. I recognize that faith is hope for things not seen...but brain is taken over by human hormonal wiles. I am hurting.

But as I've learned so many times before, the man upstairs always finds a way to send me his love. He finds the best ways to answer my prayers, and in fact...he often uses each one of you as his vehicle.

Ryan's friend stole Ryan away for lunch and a movie today. And today, as I prayed for my peace to return...and maybe a little chocolate to pop up prayers were answered in one of the most unlikely of places.

The mailbox.

A generous check from a stranger. He read our story from another blogger.

A sweet card with the kindest note I have ever read.

A package full of Love from a friend.

Another envelope full of bracelets for the family:

and packaged lovingly at the bottom of the envelope...


I felt like He took my hand today, and wiped my tears away through friends.

I'm almost embarrassed to say this is just the tip of the iceberg. We have been the recipients of SO much kindness. How can we despair? Goodness seems to cancel out all the bad.  Love is prevailing.

A friend gave Ryan the book, "It's Not About the Bike." By, Lance Armstrong. Ryan read me this quote last night from its pages...

"When I was sick, I saw more beauty and triumph and truth in a single day than I ever did in a bike race."

Ryan and I would like to echo his sentiments.

Your good thoughts, prayers and love are our answered prayers.

We are blessed for sure.


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