Anatomy of a low.

He was peaceful.His long blond eyelashes framed his round eyelids.  Pink cheeks.  Full, soft, relaxed lips.Peace.As I picked up his black freckled fingertip, I paused to give him one more moment of calm.His breathing was slow and shallow.  His entire body relaxed in its slumber.SHUNK.I pricked his fingertip, laying another dot on the landscape.  A bead of bright crimson blood appeared. I quickly pressed the test strip against it and watched it suck up most of the red.  I smeared away the remaining blood from his finger, wiping it on the inside pocket of my jeans.  The countdown ensued...the result was a surprise.It...

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Rescued.

When you are having a bad time...When you are lost and trying to find yourself...When you need something to look forward to...When you need to talk, but with someone who you know understands where you are coming from, because they know where you have been...When you need a friend...When you are struggling to sleep...When you're stuck on pause...When blood sugars reign and routine saves the day...When you are looking for your smile...There is no better cure than a visit from people far away.People who share your heart.People who love you despite your imperfections.People who in many ways are your "same."This last weekend Wendy from Candy Hearts,...

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It's theirs.

I've always thought of diabetes as mine.   No, I don't have diabetes per se, but I live it...and I take full responsibility for it times three.My head is in the game 24/7.  I put so much work into diabetes...the diabetes hamster wheel in my brain is still running full tilt after all these years.  But lately it has become very clear that my boys have diabetes hamster wheels too, and they too have theirs running at a good clip.I'm not super happy about that.I always ran my hamster wheel so they wouldn't have to run theirs.  But as they have gotten older, they have begun to give their wheels more steam,...

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The Most Annoying Person I have Learned to Love...

The day I lost my car... I became an avid pedestrian. Every local place became THE place to go for any goods and services. I really didn't want to lose my car, but the many months of being sick and at home, on leave from work and with no paycheck, left me struggling to make ends meet -- and well, car payments were not a priority. I let the car go.Then shortly thereafter, I was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes. November 17th, 2009.I thus began to get acquainted with a certain place a lot more often than I would have liked. A certain pharmacy. God, I hate pharmacies. I hate their smell, I hate their lights, I hate the waiting... and the lectures...

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The lie.

I see it all the time on Facebook.I live with the mantra all day long in my own reality.Oh yeah, I say it to myself.And yeah, I know you say it to yourself, too.As parents, as humans, we are brilliant at a lot of things, but one thing we are most brilliant at is finding fault with ourselves.It all hinges on one giant lie.  And it is such a good lie that we often believe it.  We let it eat at us, and some days we even let it define us.What are the words that have so much power?"I'm not good enough.""I fall short.""Epic fail."Do we all have areas to work on?  Absolutely.  No one is perfect.  Me?  <----- far from...

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Alice in Diabetesland

11:00pmI was Alice.  I was naive, and curious.  When I ventured towards the bedroom I had no idea what would be on the other side of the monitor.  I sat comfortably on B's bedside and stroked his cheek gently.  Oh how I wish I could know peace like that.  What a wonderful adventure his life is at 10 years old.  I envied his ablity to sleep so soundly.  Growing curiouser and curiouser I brought the blood sugar monitor to his sweet hand and squeezed out the precious blood from his finger tip."Hi."In an instant, I fell directly down the rabbit hole.11:30pmI was the rabbit.  Chasing the number down,...

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What Patients Want From Their Clinicians...

I think a lot about patients' rights, and expectations; about what the most ideal medical care should look like for a person with diabetes. I've often thought of putting together a post regarding these thoughts, but I never quite had a catalyst to really help me organize together all the elements.The time I spent at Medicine X really got me thinking more in that direction, and contextualizing my vision. Some of these might seem like basic tenets, but others are quite 'revolutionary.'When I advocate, I feel I usually do so, subconsciously, from some of these starting points... and I suppose they could apply to just about any other health...

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Diabetes is a Sailboat

14 years ago I was told to put my child in a sailboat, alone. He was to journey out to sea and I was not allowed to escort him.You can imagine the fight I put up. I yelled and pleaded. I dropped to my knees and bargained with God. I had a fit. But alas, my flailing was fruitless...he was literally taken out of my arms and thrown into the boat. I was given no choice. He had Type 1 Diabetes and there was no going back. He could not stay on shore. He could not live without the boat...it was part of him now.I watched the boat go out to sea and I cried anguished crocodile tears. The world seemed to be in constant motion, while I was stuck on pause...mourning...

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Finding My True Hope: My Adventures at Stanford Medicine X

This is the fourth of a series of blog posts in which I will recount my adventures at Stanford's Medicine X, Conference: An experience which has changed my life, and I will not soon forget. :-) Patients learn to develop a strong voice. We have to... There are a lot of other voices, and interests, competing to be heard, and some, outright wanting to talk right over us. So, often times, a patient rises up above... and becomes an advocate: one who learns, and becomes an expert in their condition, as well as teaches others to self empower themselves, and keep going. As a part of that, it follows that the advocate will also seek to change their...

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The ten year quandary

I read an article a couple weeks ago that Houston's MD Anderson's Cancer center announced they are going to shoot for the moon and attempt to cure eight types of cancer within the next ten years.One of those types of cancer is Melanoma.  How do I feel about this?Surprisingly conflicted.On the one hand, WOW!  Good for them for going for the gold!  What a huge blessing it would be to know not another family would need to suffer like ours.  What an amazing gift to know that in the future my children wouldn't have to fear such a disease!  It is such a hopeful statement.  Bold and exciting!  Can you imagine? ...

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Finding My Patient Voice: My Adventures At Stanford Medicine X

This is the third of a series of blog posts in which I will recount my adventures at Stanford's Medicine X, Conference: An experience which has changed my life, and I will not soon forget. :-) Friday had come and gone with a massive amount of information, stories, and knew technologies featured in a relatively small amount of time. To be honest, I'm still dissecting a lot of the information, and I'm grateful for the live-streams, and videos, which I can always use as a reference.I'm also grateful for the dignity of finding one's bearings. Once we find those bearings, we regain a certain sense of confidence in ourselves, and situations, without...

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