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But yesterday was much bigger than that.
Yesterday was actually the very day L was diagnosed. At the tender age of 8 years old, he would have been celebrating 6 years with Type 1 Diabetes.
We will find a way to celebrate this week, but it occurred to me, I've never told L's story in its entirety. I don't even know if I remember it in its entirety. But I'll try.
I know it was a Sunday, and it was two days before Valentine's Day. The night before my husband and I went out and bought each boy a box of heart chocolates. We had never given the boys so much candy on Valentine's day, due to the fact that J's insulin wouldn't tolerate it. But he had been on his pump a couple years, and he could eat what he wanted now...so we thought, "what the heck! They so deserve it!"
As it turns out, no one got the chocolates. They sat in my closet for months before I ended up just throwing them away.
Early on that Sunday morning L woke me up for some water. Three times.
When he came back for the fourth I said, "You better hope you have diabetes buster, because it isn't ok to keep waking up your mama for water." It was a joke, and at 2 he had no idea what I was talking about, but no sooner had the words left my lips when Ryan grabbed my arm. We both knew in that moment that we needed to check his sugar.
It came up 220 something. We looked at each other in shock. I scrambled for the phone to call my endo. I was hysterical. Our regular endo was on Maternity leave, and this one was very blunt.
"Yes, he definitely is Type 1 now. I don't know why you are so upset. It is what it is."
"HOW can you know that from one reading? You don't know that! Stop saying that!"
"Go in this morning for blood tests, we'll see how far down the road he is."
We went in and tests only slightly confirmed what we feared. But here is the kicker...his blood sugars went right back to normal the next week. And the next.
And we went into denial...big time.
As long as we didn't feed him any carb bombs, his sugars were perfectly fine. Once in a while we would get a wonky one. Once in a while a 300...but then it would disappear and all would be well. The scariest part of this time was the lows. More than highs, we would see lows. He would get shaky, sweaty and scared and we would give him some juice. His pancreas was confused...it would help out a little too much when there was a high looming. It made me wonder if he wasn't type 1...maybe he was just hypoglycemic.
You can imagine the roller coaster ride I was on. One day I was sure he was Type 1. The next I was sure he was not. Until a few months later when he got strep throat. His throat closed and he wasn't getting enough oxygen...they rushed him to the hospital and he was put on what I assume were steroids.
Diabetes and steroids don't mix. He needed insulin immediately. His blood sugar went through the roof and there in the hospital it was realized...we have two boys with Type 1 Diabetes.
But here is the thing. We were all so relieved that we didn't have to live on that particular is he/or isn't he roller coaster that we took off running and ready to battle. There wasn't so much depression as there was determination. J admitted that it was nice not to be alone. He felt so guilty about it, but he felt closer to L despite it all. He would even check his sugar for us, and get his site changes done first to show L it was, "No big deal."
Also, L was a couple years older than J when he was diagnosed. He could communicate when he was hungry and he could communicate that he was thirsty. It was much easier altogether this time around. We knew we could do it.
And we did.
Now B's diagnoses...number 3. I didn't handle that one as gracefully. In fact I pretty much lost it.
But that is a story for another day.
I am so thankful that we have L in our lives. He is so much fun, and is the biggest sweetheart. He is unique, and innocent and everything you would want in a friend.
He is adored.
and
He is my hero.
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