Our Diabetic Life in summary: Circa 2011.

I took the time yesterday to read through many of last years posts.  I have to say, I rode the roller coaster in 2011, and I rode it well.  My ups were way up there, and my downs were way down there.  I wish I could say I rode it with the intensity and excitement of a real thrill seeker, but shockaprisingly enough...I wasn't nearly as enthusiastic about it all as I should have been.  I think I've finally made my way off the coaster for now.  It only took 12 months...but the problem lies within the problem.  Diabetes isn't going anywhere.  As long as my boys are still effected, the roller...

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A Virtual Switzerland.

I'm feeling pretty neutral on this whole diabetes thing lately. I'm the virtual Switzerland if you will.People are posting some pretty nasty things about the big D out there...and I have to say, I don't blame them one single bit.It's not like I have anything NICE to say about it or anything. It's just right now, I have no feelings about it at all.I'm numb.Even 90's haven't brought up the joy they used to. 400's? Whatever. I've seen them before. Let's get busy and fix it.Right now there is no victory and no defeat. It is all just there...threaded through everything we do. Embedded in every memory.I'm struggling to know if this is a good thing...

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A Diabetic Manifesto...

I love my Christmas tree... I light it. I enjoy it's silent cheer; it's proud glow. Perhaps, a memory of a 'perfect' childhood, at least, in my own imagination. The room is messy, but the tree makes it come to life. It brings a certain peace to my heart. It makes everything... 'perfect.' I probably won't take it down for a few more weeks.Peace is a little hard to come by, these days... The worries of adulthood, and the insecurities of employment and finances, really take their toll... on one's joy, one's dreams, one's relationships, one's family, you name it. Still, I sit, and wonder... at the 'magic' of it all. When folks sort of stop paying...

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My favorites

Christmas is my favorite. So much so, I'm going to list off all of my favorites that went with it this year. And to add a little yin to my yang...I'm going to let you know some of my least favorites too! Favorite Christmas meal: Prime rib, peas and carrots, baked potato all with a bit of creamy horseradish. Least favorite Christmas meal: Is there such a thing? Actually, we had prawns Christmas Eve...which isn't my thing. But my sweet hubby BBQ'd up some chicken for me too. Spoiled! I am so so spoiled, and I know it!Favorite dessert this Christmas: Yoyo cookies made by my friend Tracy at the cookie exchange. A ton of butter, a little lemon in...

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Your Number One Diabetic Treatment Goal

Dear Friend,I heard you were recently diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes, and that you may have some mixed emotions right now (sadness, shock, anger, guilt, shame, denial, grief, fear, just to name a few...), and I just wanted to let you to know that it's OKAY to feel the way you do. Life, invariably, takes us through periods of transition, of growth, of personal reflections in which we must face, not just who we are, but our own mortality as well. This is a normal part of life: it's called the human equation. It can be frightening, to say the least... but you are NOT alone. No matter how "perfect" some of us humans may seem, we ALL go through this....

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He feels it.

As most of you know, J was diagnosed at 8 months old. When he was diagnosed he was so fragile the doctor wanted us to keep him between 200 and 300 for the first couple years. After that we inched down to 150-250. I think it was when he was 6, when we got him his first insulin pump, that we moved to keeping him in the 100's, and then at age 10 when we tried hard for low 100's. You have to remember that insulin back when J was diagnosed was archaic. We had to give him his dinner insulin two hours before dinner. He had a long acting insulin called Lente, and later another called Ultra Lente.  Neither were supposed to peak...but both did...

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Do you hear what I hear?

We've had a lot of hiccups in the diabetes arena the past twelve months. Smoothness seems like a bit of a myth these days while "incidents" have taken over our landscape.Seriously, the kindest way to explain away the year is to simply say it has been "interesting." The boys have grown a foot each, we've used more blood ketone strips in the past two months alone than we have in the past 13 years... and to top it off each and every Sunday has yielded only mountains and valleys. Church falls during lunch hour this year. I've failed miserably trying to control their numbers while they weathered missing lunch altogether.It isn't fair to say we have...

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Don't do it.

When your husband asks you to stay up later than planned to watch a show, and you KNOW he is going to fall asleep 20 minutes in and you'll be hooked and end up watching it alone...don't do it. (Just go to bed. Trust me. Choose sleep.)When you are staying up later than planned and you think you will check sugars at a later time, rather than your regular time...don't do it. (You'll be even more tired than usual, and if things have gone south you'll be up for another hour troubleshooting.)If you are dizzy from exhaustion and check your child and he is low...you might think to give him a new kind of juice he has never tried before...don't do it....

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When Diabetics Become Bullies

The things you say, and do, have an effect on people. This one should be a "no brainer," right?Well, not quite.At least... not quite for folks who see you as "something to crusade against." A faceless mass, or a faceless evil, or villain, that it's okay to heckle, taunt, or verbally assault for the "benefit of humanity, at large," whatever that might be. And that, I'm afraid, is what the internet has done to Type 2 Diabetes and obesity. Coupled with anonymity, the internet has sort of given a voice to the uneducated, the predators and snake oil pushing charlatans, the frustrated, and yes, even the downright abusive bullies among us.Quite...

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Frosty meets Meri's brain.

(To be sung to the tune of Frosty the Snowman. Bear with me if it is impossible to follow. You are a trooper for giving it a try!)Meri the blogger, has a very swelly brainIt doesn't sleep at night and it lights up brightWhen the boys eat candy canes.Meri's swelly brain, is a fairy tale they saybut it sees the lows and the children knowit's going to blow up one day.There must have been some worry in that pile of strips she foundFor when she showed it to her headHer brain made alarming sounds.O, Meri's swelly brainwas alive as it could be,It could change a set and have bolus regretjust the same as you and me.Checkity check checkCheckity check checkLook...

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Total eclipse of the blood sugars.

Was it the lunar eclipse? Was it diabetes mixing things up just to keep me on my toes?Whatever it was...L had been low for three days straight with no relief in sight.There was no visible sign of illness. There was nothing more than a normal week...and a normal kid...with his normal diet...with his normal everything.And suddenly he can't stay above 80.I'm not 100% sure how I am still alive this morning. L's blood sugars have given me enough heart attacks the past few days to certainly stop this whole "heart beating" thing I've got going.No kidding, more 40's than I have seen on that monitor all year long.Temp basals. stuffing food and juice constantly....

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Yesterday, it flowed.

If I had a penny for every blog post I typed through tears...well...I'd have a lot of pennies.I'm learning things about myself that I don't like. It's like there are these inner issues that lurk and then jump out to consume me at the most unlikely of moments.Yesterday was one of those moments.L called me from school 7 times between 8:30 and 11:50. He is starting this manic thing. He checks his sugars ALL the time for reasons I still don't 100% understand. He started out high the minute he walked into the classroom and gave himself extra insulin per the wizard on his pump. He called later to tell me he felt low, numerous times in fact. At one...

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Reenactment: "Oh no you didn't!"

Scene: Sitting on the couch in the living room waiting for my sister in law to pick up the boys. (My mother in law makes them breakfast every Wednesday and then brings them to school. Oh yeah...I'm spoiled!)J: Squirming in the cushion, "Ow. My set hurts." (He had just changed his set 30 minutes before.)Me: "Do you want to change it quick before Lisa gets here?"J: Shock and Awe mode, "See...there! Right there! You would never catch a person with diabetes EVER saying that."Me: "Saying what? Do you want to change your set?"J: "Of course that. And of course I don't. If you had diabetes you would be embarrassed you said that."Me: "But if it hurts..."J:...

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The Greatest Lesson You Will Ever Learn

I don't recall exactly how I got there...But I think it was just one of those "I'm really unhappy with my body, so I'm just going to go on another diet," kind of moments. However it happened, I had been referred to a nutritionist, or dietitian, or whatever the heck she was, by my Primary Care Provider (PCP) at that time. (My PCP... a man who never cared to talk much about certain things. Including, telling me my blood sugar was high.) I sat there, waiting in an office... in the usual weirdness of waiting for one of these folks. Fake plastic foods lining wall to wall shelving, and giant tomes and texts which I am not entirely sure had ever...

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So many "things"

I'm surprised to say that the past few days I've gone through a bit of blogger withdrawals. I missed this place, but I know I needed a break to clear my head. It can be overwhelming to really look at your life and take stock in your feelings. It is freeing, but facing the realities of Our Diabetic Life isn't always rainbows and unicorns.Not only that, as I look outward my heart is heavy with the burdens that you carry. Parents of children with diabetes, people with diabetes, and people that have nothing whatsoever to do with diabetes. There is a lot of heartache out there. Conflict just seems to be a way of life these days.I think it is so important...

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Meet the Family/Contact Me

If you ever want to say hello, or need a listening ear...drop me an email. I'm always around!ourdiabeticlife@yahoo.comMeet the family!I need to update this page, but I can't bring myself to make Ryan's bio past tense. Someday soon, when I'm ready.Me/MeriI was born and raised in the same Northern California town that my husband and I raise the boys in today.  I have 5 brothers and sisters, which lends to my fighting nature.  My hubby and I married young, brilliant decision!  We are more in love today than ever...(trust me...I know how lucky I am.)  I've always loved to write.  When I was in 3rd grade I remember my writing assignments being 20 pages long.  When it comes to my feelings, I am always honest to my boys, my husband, and to you.  I have very...

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Diane Sawyer, I'm ready for my close up!

I've selfishly spent this month spouting off thoughts from my swelly brain. I have blogged every day in the name of Diabetes Awareness and I have yet to write a post that educates the masses. So here are my educating thoughts in bullet point form...just in case, one day, the world decides it wants to know the facts about Type 1 Diabetes. * When you hear about diabetes on TV...chances are, you are hearing about Type 2 Diabetes.* The notion of lose weight and lose diabetes is a complete hoax. Diabetes never goes away. If you have Type 2 Diabetes, You may be able to stop medication if you lose weight and change your diet...but even if you do, diabetes...

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