Thursday, October 7, 2010

A Very Meri World.

Happy No D Day!

Ok, I’m not a proponent of Dictatorships or anything…but I often have fantasies of ruling the world. Let’s face it, if I ruled the world …good things would happen. I understand I don’t have magic powers or anything, so the changes I would make would be TOTALLY practical…take a looksie…

* Certain Medical supplies that may or may not have to do with the D word would cost 1 penny each. (OK, I’m already starting with my mind on the D word…so I’ll leave the things I would change in regards to that for another day.)

* If you don't stop completely at a four way stop…or if you don’t wait your turn…I would install spikes that would come up out of the ground and pop your tires.

* No road work, no paving, and no construction would be allowed during the hours of 8-9am when kids are being brought to school by wonderful parents who only want to get their children there ON TIME.

* Three’s a crowd would be law at every grocery, Costco and Target store. No lines longer than 3 people, PERIOD!

* Speaking of Target, there would be one in every town.

* Politicians could not say ONE bad thing about the person they are running against. They could only talk about themselves and what they bring to the table. Furthermore, during debates there would be practical TIMED exercises that would show the public if the politicians could even do the job they were running for. For example, if they were running for California Legislature, they would be required to show us they could balance their OWN flippin’ check books.

* I would make sure that Rosie the Robot was invented immediately, along with air tubes that take you from one place to another. (Which I understand makes my no road work rule null and void, but I know Rosie and Air Tubes will take a bit of time…I told you I was going to be practical.)

* Products would have to do what they are advertised to do. And they would have to work as well as their commercials imply.

* I would impose a decree that every day, at 8:00pm, parents would have to tell their child/children that they love them and list off reasons why they think their children are wonderful.

* People who do things with the intent to kill their children…such as withholding lifesaving medicine…would not get 6 years in jail…they would get automatic life sentences.

* Stirrup pants would be banned.

* Jerry Springer and Geraldo Rivera would be forced into retirement.

(hmmm…I’m getting a little mean now…I’ll try to back off.)

* I would un-cancel The Unusuals.

* Classes on empathy would be a pre-requisite for any job in the medical, educational or pharmaceutical professions.

* Properly trained Service dogs would be everywhere…even if the service they are providing is happiness.

* And I’m pretty sure I would get rid of Thursdays. I’m still mulling that one over…

This is just the stuff I have rattled off from the top of my head. Imagine if I actually had TIME to think of more! The possibilities would be endless!

So what would you do? Anything pop into your head while you were reading through my insanity?

Let me know…I’m now keeping a running list.

Just in case…you know…I take over the world or whatever.


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