Monday, October 4, 2010

Drama for the Mama?

It is a pattern with me. You would think I would catch on.

I begin the school year in defensive mode.

Teachers don’t get it.

I get offended.

And the conversations we have only end in me wanting to fall into a fetal position and cry.

Last week when I was picking up the boys from school early for their endo appointment, I got a call from L’s teacher telling me he was low. I was in the office and told her I would be right there.

When I got to the class the kids were running off to lunch and she began what I perceived to be a big tirade about the big swing in blood sugar he had that day.

At snack he was 329. VERY unusual. He had the same breakfast he has EVERY Wednesday. My sister in law picks the boys up at 7:00 on Wednesdays and my mother in law makes them the same scrambled eggs, with the same toast and the same jam. She gives him pretty much the same bolus every Wednesday and as a result his number is usually pretty spot on. But that day, there is a freakin 329. What ev’. It was a fluke. Well after snack recess he was 225. He went down a hundred points in 20 minutes? Then one and a half hours later he was 64. Well she went on and on about how that big swing affected him that day. “He can’t focus well with such big swings!” she says.

All I could say was he got his insulin just as usual. What do you want me to do? I don’t know why he had this swing! It is the nature of the beast! (GO GO GADGET CLAWS!)

I was so upset.

“Do not judge me!” I thought. “You have no idea how much thought went into those numbers…and how much I obsess over his care. You HAVE NO IDEA!!”

That night I came home and had a few minutes to mentally recap the day.

I realized that I was being very defensive. I might have even cut her off while she was trying to tell me her thoughts. Maybe she wasn’t being as awful as I thought. All three of my other boys had had her in the past. I know she isn’t an awful person. I know she wants the best for the kids. Maybe…maybe, I was taking it all too personally.

So the next day I marched up to her and said, “I’m sorry, you were trying to tell me something yesterday and I didn’t give you a chance to finish.”

I then listened. Purposely letting her tell me everything on her mind. And you know what? She was able to tell me that she felt like she understood a bit of what he goes through. That when she was a girl she was sensitive to her blood sugar and would even pass out sometimes. She said his little body had a lot to deal with during that blood sugar swing, and she was glad she was getting a handle on how it all affects him.

Umm, yeah. She wasn’t yelling at me for not keeping his blood sugars perfect. She was just telling me she is getting a grip on this better…that his swings affect him differently than my other boys. (Which is true…)

So this set the stage for an amazing 504 meeting two days later. It could have been awful, but I let them know right off how much I appreciate them trying to get a handle on my boys needs. I tried to be complimentary and kind. I swore to myself that if I did get offended…I would tell them matter of factly that they had it wrong, and explain to them why. The 504 person went through a couple things she didn’t think belonged, and after I calmly told her why they did…she understood and kept them on.

It is a hard lesson for me to learn. I wrote once that showing other people my boys’ blood sugar numbers is akin to flashing a picture of me naked. What we do is SO personal. I take it to heart when I feel like someone is judging me.

But sometimes…SOMETIMES, I make it worse than it is. I’m raising my hand…I am guilty...SOMETIMES. Sure, some people go too far…some people THINK and say the wrong thing. And to them? God speed, because you will hear this D mom roar!!

I roll that way.

But I have to remember to keep my claws in until I know there is good cause.

Drama for the mama? You betcha!

Peace for the mama? Bring it.


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