Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Poop and Circumstance.

Sometimes POOP happens and there is nothing we can do to change that.

Sometimes our meter says HI and there is nothing we could have done to prevent it.

Because, as I tell my boys multiple times a week, "we don't have a crystal ball."

Circumstances are what they are.

Tirade: Do your kids come to you on the couch after eating a snack and ask, "How many carbs?" When you weren't even involved with making said plate full of carbs? Mine do. All the time. Hence the "I don't have a crystal ball" comment. "You have to actually TELL me what you ate."

(Would be nice, wouldn't it?)

Tirade two: Yes, sometimes my boys bolus after they eat. Don't have a heart attack. It is ok.

OK...back to the post!

As I was saying...sometimes numbers all hit the fan and we have to put on our big girl panties and just get the job done.

Sure...we go back in your heads and wonder what we could have done to prevent said poop. But here is the epiphany that I had yesterday...we can't go back in time.


Why do we try time travel in our brain? They are brains, not Deloreans.

Ok...If it is something that was within our control, I agree that thinking it over and planning a change in attack next time is a good thing. But sometimes...even A LOT of times...there is nothing we could have done. We can only go on our experience. So if doing that combo bolus worked for pizza last time, and then doesn't work this time...IT ISN'T "YOUR FAULT."

What is it about us that we want to blame ourselves for everything?

Seriously, it was overcast yesterday and I looked at my summer shirt and thought if I had worn a sweater, maybe it would have been sunny...I. HAVE. A. PROBLEM.

Basals run amuck? MY fault. Even though they aren't.

Child forgot to check his sugar before he ate? My fault. Even though my brain can only think for so many people at one time...

Are you following me?

I'm not sure I'm following me.

Where is this all coming from? Yesterday L was HI. (Why my meter says HI and not HIGH is beyond me.)

Was his set bad? Yesseree! We changed it out, and he went down.

Well, he DOVE down.

Stunk for him. Stunk for me. Stunk all around.

And today I felt an overwhelming sense of urgency to just, get it right. A NEED to keep his numbers in perfect range. See: Guilt. See: Not as easy as it seems.

And then I stopped and epiphanied my epiphany that I can't go back and change what happened. I can only look forward. I can only work forward.

So poop happens. And so does the circumstance. But we need to remember...we are human. We are not magic. We cannot control our kids sugars with our minds. We cannot WILL a set not to fail.

We need to learn from our mistakes, and forget the things that we had no control over. Deciding which is which can be tricky. But...I think if we search our hearts...we know.

We always know.

It IS our fault.

LOL! Just kidding. SOMETIMES it is our fault. But SOMETIMES it is not our fault.

It can all be just poop and circumstance for sure.


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