Monday, July 25, 2011

The Four Seasons to Diabetes

The winter days, those are the ones that are like sticky notes glued to our memories. The rain that falls from our tear ducts...the snow that chills our hearts to our blessings. There are the storms that toss the numbers around. There are the calms that lay before the storms that can give us a false sense of security. But during this time of year, most of us know...we KNOW...that when the calm is there, then it is time to lie in wait for the storm. Every day anticipating the winds to turn everything upside down. Every day not trusting what is in our emergency preparedness brain. How bad will the storms be? The weather caster in our brain exaggerates the destruction of it all. The winter. We all have these winter moments...and the only thing that makes OK is moving on to another season.

Spring is when everything is coming up roses. (Or in this case, Tulips.) The basals are set right. The corrections are right. We feel we could swag an entire luau buffet with our eyes closed. Diabetes steps back...our children and their activities step forward. There is a sense of accomplishment and excitement. We roll your eyes at others drama. We wonder what all the fuss is about. We are drifting down a stream with little or no effort on our part. It is a beautiful thing that we all wish would last forever...but seasons change. And summer comes...

"Did someone turn up the heat? Is there a spotlight on me? Wait. Everyone thinks I got this thing but I'm so preoccupied with all the things I need to do to keep this family running, that I have no earthly idea how the sugars are trending, or what supplies need to be ordered. I'm so lost." There is no order, only chaos. Everything is ran in hast. The activities build, and children are occasionally left in others hands. You feel like you have no center. You second guess your second guess your brain. You wonder how anyone could trust you with this job in the first place. Pretend. We have to pretend we got this. It is a lonely and heat exhausting place to be. We yearn for relief.

And then fall comes. There is a beauty to fall that reminds us of spring. We start to view things in color rather than brown and white. The fall encourages us to look up...and know that we are here for a reason. Is anything perfect in the fall? No, it is unpredictable. But we accept that unpredictability as part of Our Diabetic Life. There is purpose to our step...the wind is at our back. We turn to family and friends to begin the celebrations of the season. We celebrate how far we have come. We are thankful that our children have healthy legs, healthy eyes, healthy hearts. We are grateful that they can run and laugh and enjoy life regardless of the occasional rain or heat. An old college roommate of mine put this quote on facebook, "Gratitude turns what we have into enough." That is what this season is all about.

What season are you in right now?

I am in Summer. Me thinks I need to be more grateful for what I have.

"To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven."


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