Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Dear Ultra Mini One Touch Meter/ D Blog Week, Day 2

Dear OneTouch UltraMini Meters,

You've got it all style wise. I mean look at those bright colors, man alive you look good in green! It brings out your numbers.

You make diabetes a touch more fun for the boys. I mean, who wants a boring grey meter anyway...

You seem to be the whole package...but since I've been able to spend SO much time with you, I have realized...things aren't always what they seem.

Sure your accuracy, (whatever that is when it comes to meters,) seems ok...it is the perception that you would never mislead me that took our relationship a step down.

You mess with me sometimes, and it isn't funny. Not to me. Not to my children...not to the DOC.

It isn't always the case that I'm completely awake when I use you. Sometimes I'm a bit preoccupied too...but why you take advantage of me during these vulnerable moments? Well, only you...and the people who make you know.

Heaven forbid I drop you right after I test...softy...on the carpet. But if I pick you up, UP SIDE DOWN, well, man alive...I'm in for quite a ride on the emotional roller coaster.

What if I get this:

And if I look at it like this:

Well, I go insane.

It isn't funny.

It isn't safe.

It is kinda mean.

Seriously, isn't there any better way to let us know which way is up other than the ridiculously small-uber-mini writing that says, "OneTouch UltraMini?"

Oh LOOK! My son checked his sugar today and he was 291.

He gave himself insulin because he was high.


Excuse my french but, OH HELL NO! His low earlier was from your misleading meter, NOT from a high.

Dangerous much?

I've left you messages and have gotten automated emails back. I even got one from a person saying here is a link on how to use the meter.

How to use it? Instructions ON HOW TO USE IT.

What the HECK!

We KNOW how to use it.

I think the real question is...do you know WHERE we use it?

You may think we use it under sterile laboratory conditions...but sadly, that is not the case.

We use it on the soccer field, on the basket ball court, in the car, at school, at church, at the park, in line at the grocery store, while RUNNING with popcorn in our hands when we are late for a movie...

Because we can't check the boys sugars in the theater...because it is dark in there. And the people who make you can't put a tiny flash light in the end cause that would cost, what? 1 dollar more to incorporate???

Let me tell you. I'd pay an extra 10 dollars for that meter if it had a flashlight. Turning on their bedroom light at 1am isn't ideal.

And you could probably be a little smaller too. (Just thought I'd throw that in.)
We like the colors.

We like the almost small enough-ness of you.

There is just room for improvement.

And since I'm asking for the moon...could you be a little more accurate for criminy sakes! (Criminy is a shout out to my mom!)

Thanks for your time. If you lived it, you would know too. But since you don't, and my family does, please take my words to heart.


Sincerely...OH SO sincerely,

Meri Schuhmacher
Mom to 3 boys who have type one, who's insurance pays your ridiculous price for test strips. I just received a shipment of 2,400 strips. That is $2,400 in your pocket for a meter that has messed with my psyche ONE too many times.


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